Perez Hilton - CoupleDumb

perezmadonna 300x206 Celebrity Smackdown: The Perez and Madonna Shadows

          Since we are discussing shadows this week, we think it has become pretty obvious why we love to smackdown celebrities. Obviously these celebs possess qualities that trigger us and spark the ire of our shadows. All this is a nice way of saying that there are latent parts in us that either do the same thing or are activated by their behaviors. Enough of the blah blah, let’s get to smacking! So who shall we smack today? We figured we would discuss why it is that there are certain celebs that are just hated. However, we will go on record as stating we do not hate anyone. We judge them, yes. But we don’t hate.

          Lee says: One of the celebs that is hated by many web sites is Perez Hilton. I personally have no issue with him and have never been triggered by his antics. People seem to focus on the fact that he has made his career and fortune from making fun of celebrities, drawing penises, hating and doing things those other gossip mavens would not do. Methinks there are many shadows getting whipped up around here.

          I love this one since it is so easy to analyze. People hate Perez because he says what you wish you could and in many cases you do say it! You may not say it in public where someone can hear you and perhaps judge you to be a mean person. Outing people or saying that someone is ugly is something that we all may think of doing but few of us has the balls to do it. Its not that Perez is a bad guy; it has more to do with the critics envying his ability to say and do things that they feel they can’t. That is pure shadow!

          However I would be remised if I did not point out some of Perez’s shadows as well. Perez says that he hates hypocrisy which is his justification for being brutally honest. This would be his shadow. Somewhere he has a shadow that is a hypocrite and it will do things like convince him he doesn’t care what people say about him and yet it hurts him just like everyone else. It hurts him all the way to the bank. We could pretend all we want that we don’t care but if you didn’t you would be a sociopath and instead of drawing dicks on people you would be shooting them with a spear-gun (because real guns are icky!)

          To be fair, we must revisit a celebrity we have maligned and smacked multiple times. Of course we are referring to Madonna, the prime example of responsibility and integrity (cough, cough). So what is the trigger here? What annoys me about Madonna the most is her lack of responsibility especially when it comes to her using sex to sell herself. I don’t believe she is talentless. I believe her talent is in shocking people. So this is where the shadow comes in. I do the same thing. I’ll admit that I have been known to be controversial on many occasions and, like Madonna, I am not above whoring myself and my kin to get what I want (check out the soon to be published Miami Herald article on us where we actually put our 2 year old in the picture ~ shake your money makers Mommy).

          At the end of the day, we must all realize that what you hate you perpetrate! I am aware why I react to the Madonnas and Kanyes of this world. Are you?

          Paul says: I really really don’t like Madonna so I must have a shadow that is a talentless whore with man arms. Oh no, now my shadow is sleeping with a kid 50 years younger. Now my shadow is adopting a dozen little Malawian babies. Bad, shadow.

sharebookmarx Celebrity Smackdown: The Perez and Madonna Shadows

d and d Ask questions or face Pauls wrath

Since we received no questions this week, we figured we would tell you some of the things that are important to us. But, in order to keep the format and not confuse any of you out there, we’ll write it like a question. WARNING: We better get some questions for next week or Paul will regale you with his different Dungeons and Dragons campaigns.

Gertrude from Idaho had a question: Hey Lee and Paul, I love your blog. It gives my life meaning in the middle of this harsh winter. I was wondering, other than being fabulous, what issues or topics are you passionate about?

Gertrude, thanks for the question. Paul and I are extremely opinionated, some would argue judgmental, so we have many topics that prick our interest and others that get us ranting. We will list some of them that are sure to piss off some of our readers. Here they are:

1. Equal Rights/Gay Marriage: Paul and I feel very strongly that all people are created equally.This includes that little twink wearing the size 1 jeans and the boa or the lovely woman in flannel with the mullet. They deserve the same rights, respect and protection under the law as any other person on this earth.

2. God is not a bigot: Stop pushing your agenda to oppress, hurt, repress, enslave and punish those different than you in the name of God. Paul and I believe that God is a fat, black lesbian but she loves you anyway.

3. Humor is important: If you immerse yourself in the doom and gloom of the news or the panic of the world, we are all fucked. Lighten up people! FYI: Perez Hilton, my fellow Cuban American, I love your site and read it like a fiending addict. However, stop reporting the lay-offs and other shit news of the day. It’s a bummer and you are feeding the negative energy beast. I see you as a rainbow beacon of light and it makes the hag in me all atwitter when you do your thing. Rock on Cubanito!

4. Misbehaving children: More specifically, having other people’s children enter our space bubble when we are out. If you are in a restaurant with your child, make them sit down! We have 3 kids and they learned early on that that behavior is unacceptable. They also know that we could live with 2 if they insist on their bad behavior.

5. Slow children: O.K., that sounds bad. What we mean are those kids who see a car coming and saunter to a side walk, making you stop for them. We have a group of kids down the street who play basketball and, on a daily basis, we have to stop for those little shits to get out of the way. Where are there parents? Why don’t they understand simple physics (two bodies can not occupy the same space)? Our only satisfaction is that the parents of these children who have been raised to feel the world owes them something, will be lamenting this when these kids never leave home.

So now you have a glimpse at us. Did we strike a cord? Did we piss you off? Write us. Comment. Ask us questions or next week be prepared to hear about how Paul obtained the Wand of Wonder back in 1987 during a two day campaign. That’s three bags of Doritos and a case of Dr. Pepper to a regular human.

sharebookmarx Ask questions or face Pauls wrath

hilton will i am 062209 300x222 WTF of the Week: Blaming the Victim

Have you ever been in a shouting match? On several occasions in my life I have been in situations where a simple disagreement has turned into a shouting match. I have had someone in my face yelling at me. You know what happens to me? I forget how to speak English and suddenly suffer from Spanish Tourette’s Syndrome. Why am I saying this? Simple. Perez Hilton was punched in the face last weekend. An attack that was preceded by Will.I.Am. getting in Perez’s face at two separate venues (stalking much Willy?) and shouting for respect. The fact that he didn’t hit Perez after being ‘disrespected’ and his road manager did makes this even more random and bizarre.

Since the attack, everyone has weighed in on this on the side of ‘Karma’ or focusing on what Perez called Will.I.Am.. WTF!!!

I suppose if he had been wearing a short skirt he would have deserved to be raped too? No one deserves to be hit. Even GLAAD jumped on the Victim Bashing Bandwagon by asking Perez to take back the derogatory ‘f’ word for same sex proclivity. No condemnation for the attack. Just don’t say that word which is apparently the new ‘n’ word. Lest I forget that even John ‘the douchbag’ Mayer channeled his inner Zen master and took to Twitter to school Perez on what he should have done and about karma. Mayer, I suppose your Karma will come in penicillin vials and a thorough ass kicking by a gang of pissed women.

‘He had it coming’, ‘It was a matter of time’… I’m sure Hedda Hopper and Louella Parsons were frequently beat up for outing people and calling them names. And I think I read somewhere that Cindy Adams recently was kicked in the nuts by Zsa Zsa Gabor.

I’m truly sickened by this. This is why we still have domestic violence. This is why Chris Brown had people still talking to him saying ‘That Rihanna is a bitch and shouldn’t have …’ So everybody watch your tongue. Anything you say will be held against you and apparently will absolve your attacker of any blame.

Will.I.Am. shame on you, you funny looking little butt plug. Come and get me you black leprechaun.

sharebookmarx WTF of the Week: Blaming the Victim

Celebrity Smackdown: The Perez and Madonna Shadows

Ask questions or face Paul's wrath

WTF of the Week: Blaming the Victim

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