Real Relationship Advice

Occasionally, our inner Nazi goes on a jag and won’t shut up. We have all experienced racing thoughts. We have all experienced sleepless nights where our inner Nazi shows off and creates mountains out of mole hills, plays worst case scenario to the extreme and in all the imagined horror, you end up penniless, loveless and even limbless. Our inner Nazi is not our friend. It is the resting place of all our insecurities, neuroses and negativities. There is no place for our Inner Nazi when we choose to live a life free of anxiety. By creating a mental health exercise routine, you will find that you feel happier, healthier and more confident.

Mental Health Routine to Shut Up that Inner Nazi for Good

1. Focus Out: One of the ways our Inner Nazi takes hold of us is through a little trick it calls perseveration. Perseverating is the act of repeating to the point of an obsession. It’s the cornerstone of worrying. We forget that worrying is also the act of eroding or destroying something by rubbing, scratching or biting. This is what these thoughts do to our resolve. When we focus on something else, these thoughts are unable to take root in our minds. Focusing out is a great technique to use whenever you feel that you are worrying or feel that you are falling into a depressive state.

2. Journaling: For those of us who have a difficult time focusing out, journaling may be your answer.  A journal can keep your inner most thoughts or mental ramblings. This is a tricky way of focusing out without letting your mind in on the trick. There is a therapeutic theory that irrational thoughts can be dispelled with a little something called ‘reality’. By writing down your thoughts you bring them to the light. Reality therapy challenges all irrational beliefs. Most of us, unless we are psychotic or fanatical, are unable to maintain irrational beliefs when surrounded by the truth.  This is the equivalent to opening up the closet door and showing the child there is no monster in the closet.

3. Exercise: A professor I had a million years ago told us that the secret to mental health is doing what mentally healthy people do. It sounds very simple but the reality is that the mind is a muscle and we need to train it to be healthy and strong. One of the best ways to do this is through exercise. Now, we are not asking for a marathon or some cross-fit session flipping monster-truck tires. We are encouraging people to take a walk, have sex and generally resort to being psychical when that Inner Nazi is working on some sort of neurotic adrenaline.

There are so many ways to stop that negative internal monologue. The best thing to do is find what works for you and use it. DO NOT let it get out of control. When the first whiffs of a worry or thought rant comes into your mind, quash it. This will create more peace of mind and ultimately make you more relaxed.

Namaste

THE Relationship Blog

The purpose of Relaxation Thursdays is to create some healthy habits to keep you calm and relaxed. One of the most insidious habits we have is negative self talk. We create a certain tape in our head that we run on an endless loop. The tape contains such oldies but goodies as, ‘It’s never going to work out’, and who can forget, ‘It’s too good to be true!’  That Inner Nazi has something to say about everything and everyone. The negativity that we generate comes from this very small space in our mind that has convinced us that the most we can hope for in life is to be content for a moment. Anything else is greedy and impossible.

Quieting your Inner Nazi?

Last week we brought up positive self talk to counter the negativity. This week we will work on two Self Talk techniques that work wonders:

1. Thought Stopping

Most of our negative thoughts are irrational. They are not based in reality however we believe them to be relevant. These thoughts are conflagrations of real life experiences filtered through our low opinions of ourselves. Why would someone like me have something so wonderful?

Thought stopping is exactly what it sounds like. Whenever these irrational or negative thoughts come into your head, say STOP! Whenever you begin to have thoughts about failing, being doomed or the worst will happen, say STOP!

This method is easy and can be done at any time with little coaching.

2. Mantra

Thought stopping is easy to do but sometimes it leaves your mind with nothing to do. You know what they say, ‘An idle mind is the Devils workshop’. True, the saying refers to hands but the mind is a lot easier to overrun with negativity than your hands.

The technique that changed my life many years ago is the repetition of a mantra. A mantra can be anything. In my case, I chose a Hindu mantra but you can choose whatever works for you. Mantra comes from the Sanskrit words ‘man’ which means ‘to think’ and ‘tra’ which means ‘tools’. This thinking tool can rewrite the negative scripts in your head if used consistently. For Hindu’s, the mantra consists of repeating the name of God. Each name of God in the Hindu faith describes a different aspect of God and not, necessarily, a completely different entity. For example, Ghandi was known for repeating Rama. In fact, he died repeating the name of God.

According to Eknath Easwaren, a great spiritual teacher and the author of several books on the subject, any name of God can be repeated as long as the emotional resonance is there. In other words, repeating the name ‘Jesus’ works great if that name resonates with you.

To create the energy that is needed to be able to use mantra as an effective relaxation technique, you need to get into the practice of repeating your mantra on a daily basis. When we pair mantra with breathing techniques then you start creating an anchor in your consciousness. Eastern faiths recommend repeating your mantra to japa, which is a spiritual discipline. Catholics may use rosary beads but it is a japa just the same. Getting into the habit of repeating your mantra will energize the words where they are anchored in your sub conscience as a source of peace.

If you try both techniques together, the results are a mind free of negativity!