gay rights » CoupleDumb

Gay Suicides

Oct 012010

I am in love. I have loved the same person for more than 20 years. I fell in love after only a few short weeks of courting. In the last 20 years, my love has grown and we have shared that by starting a family. We have a home, a good support system and participate in our community. Now here is the question: Does it matter at this point whether the person I love is a man or a woman?

We decided to take a second and write something concerning the terrible rash of suicides committed by gay teens after being bullied. We have several very close friends who are gay and the idea of someone pushing them around because they are who they are just boils our blood. Unfortunately, this is normal for the GLBT community. One our friends just posted a status saying that every gay person has a ‘horror story’. Does that make anybody else angry? How many people have to get hurt or die for people to notice? Should it even matter that they are GLBT? We don’t think so.

These are hate crimes. Picking on a person because they are different is a hate crime. When Nazi’s burn down a synagogue, we easily identify this as a hate crime. When a group of rednecks beat up a black man and drag him behind a car, we easily identify this as a hate crime. When you single out a person, group or religion because they are different from you and subject them to abuse, that is a hate crime.

One of the reasons we are having any issue with charging children for bullying other children because they are gay is because too many adults have done this in their youth. One of the reasons we have difficulty calling this a hate crime is because, up until the other day, we were using the f word and referring to something as ‘gay’ when it was stupid. One of the reasons we have difficulty calling this a hate crime is because we buy into this concept that we have freedom of speech and stating your dislike for a homosexual is your right.

If we were honest with ourselves, we would be locking up every gay-bashing homophobe in the country. If we were honest with ourselves as a nation, we would start the homophobe round up with jerks like National Organization for Marriage (NOM) and arrest every one of them. If we were honest, we would see that being anti-gay isn’t like being a democrat or a republican. If we were honest, we would see that you would have to be a masochist to choose to be gay in this schizoid climate of acceptance and intolerance.

Things are coming to a head. All must reach the point of a revolution to effect a radical change. This is not only a change of laws but also a change to the zeitgeist. We must become intolerant of intolerance. We must see organizations like NOM as nothing more than hate spewing fronts for fearful people who still throw rocks at the sun and try to run from their own shadows. And when this revolution happens and equality is finally won, then we can begin to teach acceptance. Then we can teach our children that there is never a reason to tease another child. It is unacceptable regardless of the beliefs they are taught. Then, teens like Seth, Asher, Billy and Tyler will rest in peace, free from the bullies and hateful society that would never allow them a normal life.

WTF of the Week: Do as I say...

Celebrity Smackdown

Mar 102010

So, you want to go pass anti-gay hate legislation then go make out?

          Today is Wednesday where I usually get to smackdown a celeb. But today is a little different because it feels more like a WTF than a smack down. Oh my WTF’s, how I’ve missed you. I have been on a spiritual quest and I have been holding in my judgments like a constipated pregnant woman. Pain in my gut and a general malaise has forced me to break my silence and vow of zen-ness. And what, pray tell would get me to avert my eyes from Nirvana? Why the hypocrisy and mendacity of the world. Like Big Daddy and Brick (it’s Oscars-time and a great movie reference was a must), I must rage against the disgust!

          On Wednesday, March 3 at 2am, a man was arrested for DUI after leaving a gay bar. There was an unidentified man in the car with him. Maybe it was his boyfriend. Perhaps it was his Pastor. At the face of this, I say, ‘BIG FUCKING DEAL!’ Yes, it is shameful and criminal to be driving under the influence and he should pay for this heinous crime. As a man though, he was exercising his birthright to engage in activities that bring him happiness. Find your love, is our motto.

          The wrinkle to this story is that this man was California State Senator Roy Ashburn. Wow, how salacious! And yet I am still unimpressed. So what?! A gay state senator is not a big deal. The twist to this is that Ashburn is a big gay rights opponent. The twist is that this man has voted and campaigned against every single measure that has been proposed that could benefit gay people. The mind numbing point is that this man, married homophobe with 4 children, in his state owned vehicle, chose to cruise a gay club, picked up a guy, drank his fill and decided to drive.

          We can only assume he was bringing this man to an exorcism to rid the gay demons from his soul. We can only assume he was doing research to continue his crusade against the gay menace. Although Senator Ashburn took responsibility for the DUI, he has not addressed the Craig-like-foot-under-the-stall move of leaving a gay club with a man. So we are left to assume that he needs a wide stance to do his business. We are left to assume that he was giving a hitch-hiker a ride. We are left to assume his passenger, who I have named Missy Sparkles, was really an undercover operative and these guys are infiltrating the gays to learn their secrets. Right?

          Senator Ashburn, forgive my bluntness but you fruity, hypocritical, irresponsible bitch! If you like cock, tell the world. The world knows you’re a hypocrite, so use it to your advantage. Come out! Recant your position, which was borne of fear of the violence and degradation gay people have suffered at the hands of assholes like you. Trust me when I say taking full responsibility will have to include admitting that you were in the club enjoying yourself. Your wife, children, family and friends will ultimately appreciate the truth instead of hiding the glitter and stilettos from you.

          NOTE: Senator Roy Ashburn has come out of the closet and admits that he is a homosexual. The real WTF was that he still stands by his voting record. He feels that he is voting exactly how his constituents would. This is not all together untrue. If you’ve been to his district (San Bernardino Country, Kern…) you know that cows are just as plentiful as people. However, where my eyes cross on this one is the willingness to be so out of integrity. I can understand the fear of coming out. I can even understand, as a public official, he is listening to the voters. However, to vote against your own people? Having a company car, a nice salary and a cool job must be worth more than your integrity because the same people you are screwing over are the same people you are screwing. You should be ashamed of yourself.

          Since this week is about the state of marriage in this country, we thought we could take a second and say EQUAL RIGHTS NOW! Marriage means very little when it is a right only some of us have. We don’t feel special. We feel kind of dirty. Kind of like eating a hamburger in India. But just one request, when everyone is given the right to marry, we think Senator Ashburn should be made to wear the ugliest bride’s maid dresses to all the gay weddings in California that he is invited to.

WTF of the Week: Uganda's Kill the Gays Bill

WTF of the Week

Dec 122009

Duh!

          When we think of the miracle of the Christmas Season, we always remember ‘A Christmas Carol’. Remember the Albert Finney version of the story? We watch it every year and sing along to the disturbing music. Now, this would never happen to us because we are good people who love everybody (except for the extremely stupid and bigoted but even those people we don’t wack with a bat). We’ll pray for their putrid souls but at no time will we support any legislation to kill them.

          In Uganda, they are proposing legislation to put HIV/Aids infected people who are also homosexual to death and uninfected homosexuals will be imprisoned. Anyone found aiding and abetting a homo will also be imprisoned. Is it just us but has this gone a little too far? Has everybody lost their fucking minds? Come on, kill gay people who are infected? Why? What about the straight people who are infected?

          So where did they get the idea? Oh yeah, it was an American Christian missionaries who told the Ugandan government that they had a therapy cure for homos and that their behavior was a choice. As if these fucktards weren’t causing enough problems here, we are exporting these Christians to spread their message of hate and bigotry across the lands. Maybe these Christians are our version of weapons of mass destruction. Maybe these Christians will be able to go from country to country and spread their venom until we are all hateful, nasty creatures who base all our scientific beliefs on the pseudoscientific methods of a middle school dropout with a chemistry kit.

          This is like we have released SARS or H1N1 on an unsuspecting world. We should call the virus the HHCC (Homophobic Hateful Closeted Christians). Only a homophobe with repressed homosexual tendencies would travel the world spreading this crap. They say: ’Look at how compassionate I am and I’ll pray for your buggering soul’ but they mean: ‘I hate those gays and their throw pillows and lesbo ways. I just want to take them and …kiss them a lot….Nooooooooo.’

          All we ask is this; can we stop these people now? They use to be funny but they are going way too far. Can we all forego our normal Christmas letter to Santa and ask the big guy to have his team of assassin elves take these fuckers out? We will be asking for just that. If you don’t join in the writing campaign, the elves may just send a strongly worded email for these bigots who hide behind the cross while Jesus shakes His head with shame for them.