d and d Ask questions or face Pauls wrath

Since we received no questions this week, we figured we would tell you some of the things that are important to us. But, in order to keep the format and not confuse any of you out there, we’ll write it like a question. WARNING: We better get some questions for next week or Paul will regale you with his different Dungeons and Dragons campaigns.

Gertrude from Idaho had a question: Hey Lee and Paul, I love your blog. It gives my life meaning in the middle of this harsh winter. I was wondering, other than being fabulous, what issues or topics are you passionate about?

Gertrude, thanks for the question. Paul and I are extremely opinionated, some would argue judgmental, so we have many topics that prick our interest and others that get us ranting. We will list some of them that are sure to piss off some of our readers. Here they are:

1. Equal Rights/Gay Marriage: Paul and I feel very strongly that all people are created equally.This includes that little twink wearing the size 1 jeans and the boa or the lovely woman in flannel with the mullet. They deserve the same rights, respect and protection under the law as any other person on this earth.

2. God is not a bigot: Stop pushing your agenda to oppress, hurt, repress, enslave and punish those different than you in the name of God. Paul and I believe that God is a fat, black lesbian but she loves you anyway.

3. Humor is important: If you immerse yourself in the doom and gloom of the news or the panic of the world, we are all fucked. Lighten up people! FYI: Perez Hilton, my fellow Cuban American, I love your site and read it like a fiending addict. However, stop reporting the lay-offs and other shit news of the day. It’s a bummer and you are feeding the negative energy beast. I see you as a rainbow beacon of light and it makes the hag in me all atwitter when you do your thing. Rock on Cubanito!

4. Misbehaving children: More specifically, having other people’s children enter our space bubble when we are out. If you are in a restaurant with your child, make them sit down! We have 3 kids and they learned early on that that behavior is unacceptable. They also know that we could live with 2 if they insist on their bad behavior.

5. Slow children: O.K., that sounds bad. What we mean are those kids who see a car coming and saunter to a side walk, making you stop for them. We have a group of kids down the street who play basketball and, on a daily basis, we have to stop for those little shits to get out of the way. Where are there parents? Why don’t they understand simple physics (two bodies can not occupy the same space)? Our only satisfaction is that the parents of these children who have been raised to feel the world owes them something, will be lamenting this when these kids never leave home.

So now you have a glimpse at us. Did we strike a cord? Did we piss you off? Write us. Comment. Ask us questions or next week be prepared to hear about how Paul obtained the Wand of Wonder back in 1987 during a two day campaign. That’s three bags of Doritos and a case of Dr. Pepper to a regular human.

 

sharebookmarx Ask questions or face Pauls wrath

 

 

In case you have been living under a rock all week, last Sunday during the Miss USA pageant, Perez Hilton asked Miss California what her opinion was on Gay Marriage. She decided to answer ‘biblically correct’ and state that a marriage was between a man and a woman. The brouhaha has been enormous. Perez has been on Larry King twice and for what?  

Aside from her divisive answer that alienated all the homos watching and stealing her look for Wednesday’s amateur drag show(because that dress with the slit and the ruffles was fierce), she was a complete idiot. It’s easy to bash her for being a bigot but we have integrity at CoupleDumb and we will bash her for her stupidity!  

The WTF is this-

‘We live in a land where we can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage’- really? Where the hell do you go for that one? I’ve never heard anyone walk into the marriage license office and say, ‘I think I want the same sex marriage but that opposite marriage really intrigues me.’

Miss California also said, ‘You know what, in my country and in my family…’ – Wait a second! This bitch is supposed to be from California, not some other country!  

People can believe what they want, but in our country and in our family we believe in equal rights for all and that stupid people should shut the fuck up!

 

sharebookmarx WTF of the Week  Carrie Prejean Miss California 2009

star warswedding High five to Iowa and a smackdown to the religious right

Celebrity Smackdown Wednesday is one of our favorite days to write because it usually comes out as a rant and we find those cathartic and healing.  This week is no different in the rant but the ‘celebrity’ is definitely a stretch.  Let’s just say that April 3, 2009 in Iowa, will be a day that will live in infamy!

          The Iowan Supreme Court upheld a lower courts ruling to strike down a statewide ban of gay marriage stating that they ‘are firmly convinced the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective.’ There was lots of bitching from religious groups upon hearing this.  Sioux City Bishop R. Walker Nickless said the news was ‘sad and disappointing’ and that ‘It is an attempt to narrow the definition of marriage as secular, subjective and utilitarian. This decision attacks all those couples who believe that their marriages are religious, objective and purposeful.’

          So you’re wondering what this has to do with attachments which is the general them of the week.  It’s simple, beliefs can be attachments.  When you hold on to something so tight and become blind to all else, you are suffering from an attachment.  The reaction of religion in general to gay marriage has been fascinating.  We know that the Church of Latter Day Saints funneled their time and talent and treasure into California’s Proposition 8 election and single handedly made a blue state conservative red.  They had people voting for the sanctity of marriage and the future of their children who would be forced to have gay pride parades every second Tuesday of the month or some other bullshit they invented. 

          The idea that a law permitting gay marriage was somehow going to affect churches was as preposterous as teachers discussing lesbianism in the classroom.  Teachers don’t discuss heterosexuals so why would this open the floodgates to indoctrinate our kids in the homosexual ways.  Everyone knows that’s what happens when they go to sleep away camp and robes are used for the ceremonies.  The arguments put forth from religious and anti gay groups (redundant we know) are as absurd as the things said before blacks were allowed their freedom and women were allowed to vote.  

          Listen up religions, churches and people of faith who believe that if gay people marry then the four horsemen can’t be far behind, wake up and call it what it is: BIGOTRY!  Don’t hide behind God because we agree that he doesn’t make mistakes.  The refusal to allow any group basic rights flies in the very face of what Jesus taught us in Mathew 12:31 ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ You can talk about rules and hide behind your beliefs that have been hand written and honed by old men long gone to this world.  You can squeeze your attachments to your breasts and believe that these will put you on the fast track to heaven.  Or, you can actually read the words of Jesus Christ and love your neighbor and that includes the two dykes with the dogs and great yard next door.

 

Coming out, in a big way, for equal rights.

If you are a straight couple that believes in equal marriage rights for all then we need your help. A friend of ours is creating a video montage for straight couples to throw their support behind the gay community. Here are the instructions:

STEP ONE: Read the sentences at the bottom and pick your favorite one (or make up a similar one of your own)

STEP TWO: Print it on to a piece of paper either by hand or on your computer and hold it in front of the two of you.

STEP THREE: Take a picture of you two and the paper.

STEP FOUR: Upload it here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2485057099

 

Potential choices:
‘Straight not narrow’
‘Being a hater doesn’t make you straighter.’
‘Gay marriage doesn’t hurt our marriage.’
‘Our love isn’t a phase either.”
‘Straight & against Prop 8.’
‘Our Love = Their Love’

 

Thank you.

 

sharebookmarx High five to Iowa and a smackdown to the religious right

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