Ross the Intern is Chelsea in this case except that Chelsea is more manly.

The dudes stold half of our jokes from last year. Maybe they read CoupleDumb.

Now we are watching people that we do not know critique models on clothing that is not red carpet worthy. Yes, this is the Pre-pre-show.

 Lo somebody is wearing the same dress as Florence Henderson did in the 60′s. Same hair too.

Wait, wait, wait…when did swimsuits become red carpet wear? We’re confused. Here comes Dame Judi Dench in her thong swimwear.

 Thank you, God. Now it is time for the Pre-show. Let there be at least one A-lister, please.

Jane Lynch in a dress!!!!! OMG, happiness. She looks gorgeous and she is not wearing a pants suit.

How did Jimmy ‘No Talent’ Falon get to be the host?

The GlamCam 360. Ugly all the way around. 

George K. is in and Jai is out. With Ross there, they have met their gay quota.

Jersey Shore: people get more stupid when they watch it. There are no words to describe the idiocy. We have never seen the show and just this part has dropped us a few IQ points.

Ty Burrell’s wife is dressed in a Hobo Kelly original coutoure. Lee thought that Ty was gay.

Thanks to Tivo, we do not understand commercials. They are like bamboo shoots under our nails.

Wheelchair kid from Glee sans wheel chair.

And now Puck from Glee.

Kim Kardasian thinks that Puck is cute. Isn’t she dating Justin Beiber?

Rachel (Lea Michele) from Glee is a fan of Kim. Why? One is talented and the other is…Kim.

We saw Temple Grandin the other day (and yes you will hear about that is another post) but there is no way that Claire Danes looks like that.

Sophia Vergera looks like she is wearing a fish.

John Hamm : Lee calls him her boyfriend. He must die.

Rick Gervais is looking smooth. We love the ‘I’m too fucking important to dress up’ look.

Ryan Murphy says that they are doing a  Rocky Horror Picture Show on Glee. Love it. We’ll bring the rice and squirt guns.

January Jones needed to get her hair did.  The dress looks like something that Bette Midler wore when she did her shows in the ’70′s

Christina Hendricks is all tit.  Other words to describe her are ‘titfull’, ‘titasous’, or ‘titalisous’

 Sookie and Bill are all married and stuff.  Sookie looks like a female matador.

 Heidi Klum is wearing a napkin?… a doily?… panties?

Will Shuster (Matthew Morrison) from Glee is really…. boring. Thank you to Neil Patrick Harris for saving us.

Kyra Sedgwick is all kinds of sweet. But where is her accent?

John Krasinski makes Ryan look like a dwarf. Give one a club and the other an axe and Paul would love this show.

Quinn (Diana Agree) looks lovely now that she had the baby. Yes, we have a problem distinguishing reality from fantasy.

Matthew Fox’s wife looks like Mortisia (She also looks 10 years older than him)

Special note: we are finally back home where we can concentrate on the Emmys instead of Lee’s dad trying to find the boat that he was on during Mariel.

BTW for the amount of money that Ryan makes, he should carry a stool everywhere he goes.

Now the real show begins. Let’s see if Falon can make us laugh.

All we see in the opening number is Glee ft. Hurley. Love it.

Lee just took her bra off. Now we are ready to work.

Lee would do John Hamm. Funny but Paul would do Betty White. (Come on, she’s geriatric hot)

Oh wait, they’re doing award! (We got distracted by the on-screen hotties)

Best supporting actor in Comedy: Eric Soundsomething (chubby gay guy from Modern Family)

Paul caught Lee sexting John Honey-Hamm, John Devilled Hamm, John Smoking-Hamm.

Sophia Vergara can make Jim Parsens straight.

Writing for Comedy: Steve Levitan (Modern Family)

Supporting actress in Comedy: Jane Lynch – Yes, yes, yes.

The guest catagoies apparently are part of the Shmemmys.

Guest Actress in Comedy: Betty White 

Guest Actor in Comedy: Neil Patrick Harris

Directing in Comedy: Ryan Murphy (Glee) – OK, Glee is off to a good start. We’re Gleeks so this is ok with us.

OK, now we have Stewey. We think that he should have hosted the show.

LL, what the hell is up with the hat?

Best Actor in Comedy: Jim Parsons (Big Bang) – Let the geeks rule!

Lead Actress in Comedy: Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie) – The one person who wasn’t a comedian won. How sad for the others.

 Now we are on Reality. Next year we want to see Relationship Rehab up there.

Outstanding Reality Program: Top Chef – First thing, outstanding and reality in the same sentence is an oxymoron.

We love the Earnest and Young stuff. Don’t know why.

Wow, we are already to the Drama catagory.

Writing for Drama: Matthew Weiner/ Erin Levy(Mad Men)

Supporting Actor in Drama: Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad) – We get really quiet when a show that we never heard of wins. And here is some musak.

Here comes the smoke monster. Can you hear the chick-chick sound?

Worst part of live blogging the Emmys is the commercials. Can’t really Tivo it, can we?

Supporting Actress in Drama: Archie Panjabi (Good Wife) – We called this one. Hey, she has an accent! What the f…? 

Lead Actor in Drama: Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) – Three time in a row. Someone needs to retire his Emmy.

Guest in Drama: John Lithgow and Ann Margret

Director in Drama: Steve Shill – He likes Dr. Who so he is ok by us.

Musical tribute to dead shows. We’re going to cry. 

Actress in Drama: Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) – Very happy. Love her show. And she is kick ass at the Six Degrees of Separation to Kevin Bacon game.

New catagory. Variety.

Writing for Variety: Tony Awards – We have nothing to say. Did anyone watch the Tony awards?

Director for Variety: Bucky Gunts (Olympics) – We’re going to start using his name as a curse word. 

Best Variety:  Daily Show – And Conan is screwed again.

George Clooney wins the Bob Hope Humanitarian award: Lee said, ‘Damn he’s cute and nice’.

Last catagory is miniseries and movies. Here we go.

Supporting Actress in Miniseries: Julia Ormand (Temple Grandin) – We love that movie because we have our own little Temple at home.

Supporting Actor in Miniseries: David Strathairn (Temple Grandin) – Go autisic people. Oh wait, artistic people in an autistic movie. Whatever. 

Here is the super sad ‘all the dead people’ part. Our favorite.

Writing for a Miniseries: Adam Mazer (You Don’t Know Jack) – Meh.

Actress in Miniseries: Claire Danes (Temple Grandin) – She was fantastic but our daughter does it better.

Directing in Miniseries: Mick Jackson (Temple Grandin) – Apparently we are not the only ones that liked the movie.

Actor in Miniseries: Al Pacino (You Don’t Know Jack) – Al Pacino looks like he needs to find out about Jack. How old is he? Plus he has Snookie hair which is a reason to euthanize him. He looked better doing Jack K. than he does now.

Outstanding Miniseries: The Pacific

Outstanding Movie: Temple Grandin – Temple is hugging!!!! The magic of Hollywood.

Best Drama: Mad Men – Maybe Lost will get it next year. What?

And the last award is

Best Comedy: Modern Family – It’s a good show but it ain’t no Glee.

And we are done. Now it is time to watch all of the shows that didn’t when anything.

See you tommorrow.

 

          We know you read CoupleDumb for two reasons: relationship information and award predictions. Join us on CoupleDumb today at 5pm EST as we live blog the red carpet and the Emmys.

So here are our Emmy predictions for 2010:

The nominees are:

Outstanding Choreography

82nd Annual Academy Awards Routines: Adam Shankman-We love you Adam, but, no. This is Karma for making us watch 3D dancing. That’s just wrong.

Dancing With The Stars  Routines: Derek Hough, Choreographer- We don’t watch this.

Dancing With The Stars  Routine: Chelsie Hightower & Derek Hough, Choreographer- Yeah for Chelsea (SYTYCD Grad) but no.

So You Think You Can Dance Routines: Mia Michaels, Choreographer –Love Mia! We are rooting for her.

So You Think You Can Dance  Routine: Stacey Tookey, Choregrapher-Or Stacey even though she is Canadian and would take the statue back to her country where they eat bears and talk funny.

 

Outstanding Directing For A Comedy Series

We will give it to Ryan Murphy. Glee is a breath of fresh air to TV. We thank him for making TV fun again. Oh, did we mention Lee can sing?

Outstanding Directing For A Drama Series

The Emmy will go to Lost because if not the smoke monster will come and eat the academy. Just saying.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series

The Emmy will go to Jim Parsons. We love Glee but Jim is awesome as Sheldon. Besides, Larry David is a dick, Alec has won too many and Steve Carell will win next year.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series

Emmy will go to Matthew Fox. If you know Lost you know you probably shouldn’t mess with that show…just in case…Just saying. Oh, Jon Hamm, yummy!

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

Emmy will go to Lea Michele. Why? We love Glee. We wouldn’t be upset if Amy or Tina got it but no Toni! She will just take the Emmy to her country and that is so wrong. (You know we’re kidding right?)

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series

Emmy will go to Julianna Margulies for returning to TV and abandoning that hopeless dream of doing film.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie

Emmy will go to the only one we watched…Claire Danes who had us convinced she had followed out daughter around to get ready for the role.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

Emmy will go to Chris Colfer from Glee. Did you see his Single Lady dance or when he dressed like Lady Gaga?

 

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

Emmy will go to one of the Lost guys: first because Ben Linus knows how to summon the smoke monster and secondly because John Locke (or Not Locke) was the smoke monster.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series

Emmy will go to Jane Lynch because she is AWESOME. Just one question, who the fuck watches Two and a half men?

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

Emmy will go to Kalinda/Archie. She is great and not white. See, we aren’t racist. (Seriously. You know we’re kidding. Not about the racist thing. Christine Baranski for the win!)

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series

So many guys. Listen, we like the Glee guys. Yes, I would probably be willing to do just about anything for Jon Hamm but Glee for the win.

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Drama Series

Emmy will go to Alan Cummings. Why? Because, there is something about that guy. He is really sexy on that show. Seriously, go watch him.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series

This is such a tough category. Anyone except the chick who guested on Desperate Housewife.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series

Juliet from ‘Lost’ because she got blowed up and she deserves something nice.

Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Reality-Competition Program

IS this seriously a category? Who gives a shit?

Outstanding Comedy Series

Glee- The show redefined television. The most fun we had all year watching TV.

 

Outstanding Drama Series

OK, we actually watched 3 of the 5 nominees. So, in order of our love, we say ‘Lost’, ‘True Blood’ and ‘The Good Wife’. Screw the other shows.

Outstanding Made For Television Movie

Temple Grandin was an amazing movie. If you have an autistic kid, know of one or are just interested, you must watch this!

Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series

We believe that Conan O’Brien should win any award he can get. He was screwed. NBC was bad. Karma is a bitch.

Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Special

We watched the three comedy shows. Wanda was the funnier of the three. The whole ‘Michele smells like cocoa butter’ still cracks me up.

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series

Glee for the win!

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series

Lost ‘The End’ because it was amazing and I loved it and that’s it.