A woman passenger who sat next to Slippery Hands Crespo says he covered himself with a blanket when he began and then flashed during the manual manipulation of his member.  When questioned by the police, Fuzzy Palms Crespo stated: ‘I don’t recall doing that.’   

WTF???  We’ve heard of bad lays before, but a bad wank?  Seriously, how bad do you have to be that you forget about it within a few hours?  We don’t know about you faithful readers but our hands would be feeling pretty used right about now if we couldn’t remember a flicking the bean/spanking the monkey session.   

Listen Mr. Suavemente, you are going to need to apologize to that hand pretty damn quick if you ever expect a little dexterous diddling ever again.  We suggest a manicure with a paraffin bath to start the evening and some nice piano music (not the Brandenburg Concertos-you know how they scare them).  Then you say ‘I’m sorry’ and prepare for a memorable evening.