THE Relationship Blog
81890007 300x198 Birthday At Disneyland

Most of you know that we moved across the country last summer. Most of you know that we were close to our family back in Miami. But, did you know that Paul shared his birthday with my brother at a big, blow out, Halloween birthday party every year for the past 20+ years? Did you know that the Halloween/Birthday party was a tradition in my family dating back to the day my brother was born on Halloween? This being the case, I took it upon myself to create a magical day for Paul that would simultaneously sate any birthday wish and take our minds off the family and friends partying 3000 miles away. What better place than DISNEYLAND for a birthday celebration!

81890004 300x198 Birthday At DisneylandWe arrived in Disneyland Saturday morning and were introduced to their theme this year which is “Let the Memories Begin!”and boy, did they. As native Southern Californians, Paul and I had our fair share of Disneyland memories. We began recalling stories of our youth and different Disneyland trips. Even though the park is gigantic now with the added features of Disney California Adventure Park and Downtown Disney, we could still feel the Disneyland of our youth behind all the added amazingness.

Our boys loved every inch of Disneyland. Since our boys were born in Florida, their only experience of Disney was Disneyworld. They had been to all the parks and experienced the magic year after year. However, familiarity aside, they loved Disneyland and declared it their favorite. They particularly loved Tomorrowland’s Star Wars exhibition and the Buzz Lightyear ride. Autopia was one of their favorites and the first time that I didn’t have to drive! Bobby thought he did a great job driving and I am still trying to work out the kink in my neck from being the passenger.

Returning to Disneyland was exciting but I never thought it would be a profound experience. As evening fell, we found ourselves walking through Tomorrowland again. There was a band playing at the Tomorrowland Terrace. They were a really good cover band dong hits from the 80s. Those songs from Blondie and Pat Benatar sent me back to Grad Night 1983. I saw The Greg Kihn Band play on that very stage. I remembered seeing Berlin in Adventureland playing on a boat. I was washed over with memories of my youth and simpler times in my life. I understood the theme of the parks not as creating memories but reliving them!81890001 300x198 Birthday At Disneyland

Then, the same awesome band played the Doobie Brothers, “Without love’. The song asks you, ‘without love, where would you be now.’ This was the perfect end to a perfect day. I stood there remembering my adolescents and being eternally grateful for the love I have today. My husband who I adore, my boys who are the joy and bane of my existence, my little girl who is insisting on becoming a young woman before my eyes, they are my love and they have made me a very happy woman. I could yearn for the past or become melancholy of a day gone by but the love I have now has made me the amazing woman I am today.

81890016 300x198 Birthday At DisneylandSo, thank you Disneyland for reminding me of my childhood and also of the incredible life I have now. Thanks for an incredible birthday for my husband and a fabulous day for my boys and myself. But mostly, thanks for all the beautiful memories. Everyone should go and creates some wonderful memories.

(We were provided with media passes to Disneyland but all experiences, breakthroughs and opinions are our own.)

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Sexy disney villains 3255002 1717 1995 258x300 Disney And Sex

Our Tuesdays are now sponsored by La Scuola school. Please take a look at their site at www.reggioinspired.com and give them a call at (305) 278-9555.


          It’s sexy time on CoupleDumb but on Tuesday, it’s all about the children. And when it comes to kids, we just don’t want to talk about the S word. However, if you look at statistics and TV, kids probably spend more time speculating about sex than we do. It is really sad that children are no longer able to be kids anymore. We are constantly worried about our children growing too fast and yet we keep them in a media soaked incubator of innuendo and images. Let’s tone this down a smidge for the kids, shall we?

          Consider this an open letter to Disney.

          Dear Disney,

          As the parents of three children, we adore you. You have kept our children entertained since they were babies. Our daughter would thump along with Thumper and our sons love Monsters Inc. and we all enjoy watching the Toy Story films. Your films in general are fantastic. Your television is…well… less than. WE have mentioned this on this blog before, your television that airs in the morning is obviously aimed at small children and that is fine. I will point out that most kids tire of it after the age of 2 ½. However, once you move into the afternoon and evening hours, your programming turns into Fox in the 80s; a white washed version of 90210 and Melrose place with a smidge of I Love Lucy. The slapstick is thrown in to throw parents off the meta-messages to most of your shows.

          So Disney, if that’s your real name, when were the little ones supposed to stop watching? The Disney Channel does not put warning on their shows and they are unrated. When are parents supposed to pull the plug? As soon as it becomes live action? That’s the rule of thumb in our house. As soon as Disney puts on real people, it’s time to turn off the TV. This is probably why the ‘The Fresh Beat Band’ is never watched in our home (aside from the fact that they are insipid).

          Teaching our children about sex is our responsibility. Showing our kids sexually charged programming is an affront to everything we thought Disney stood for. We already live in a society that has confused sexuality. Girls are pretty and boys are handsome.  However, on your shows, ‘he is sexy’ or ‘she is hot’. We have made a quantum leap from simple and innocent sexuality to sex and pseudo kiddie porn. I have spoken in the past about what parents allow their children to do and one of them is to use inappropriate language. I am not talking about curse words but words that adults use to describe sexually charged themes. Referring to someone as ‘hot’ is referring to their body and objectification. This objectification comes from the desire to have that person for the purpose of intercourse because that would be ‘hot’.

          Let’s slow down this runaway train! I don’t believe in censorship but I do believe that some things are appropriate for kids and some are not; perhaps a rating system or a simple on air warning would help matters. I have evolved a bit from my parents who took me and my sister to see the Exorcist, in a drive-in back in 1973. I was 7. There were only Saturday morning cartoons for us and if we were lucky, we could pick up some Kimba or Speed Racer on UHF. Today, kids have so many television viewing choices and with choice come responsibilities. Trust me, in my home, we turn the TV off when we see Hannah Montana.   

          Thanks, Lee from CoupleDumb

sharebookmarx Disney And Sex

kinghead 199x300 Ungrateful Little Brats

          Can you feel it? There are only a couple of days before Thanksgiving and you can smell the excitement in the air. We get so wrapped up in the turkey and fixings that we forget why we do this. No, CoupleDumb will not be leading you into a retelling of how the Pilgrims gave thanks because they weren’t dead. No, we aren’t going to mention that that story is a little skewed and the act of giving thanks was really that of the Native Americans. Just something else we stole from them. No, we are going to focus on our kids and how to teach them to be grateful people and not self-entitled little shits. Now pass the mashed potato!


          Lee says: Kids are changing. Parents are caving. The act of appreciating what you have is becoming a lost art form. If it doesn’t have blinking lights or a lithium charger then it’s stupid and tossed to one side. Kids are watching there shows and realizing that we, as parents, are dispensable too!  Have you watched any of those shows on Disney and Nick? Out of 5 shows maybe one set of kids have active parents. In most cases, the parents are extras or support players. Kids are learning that they can raise themselves and if they have everything they ‘need’, parents are just a nuisance.


          Well, not in my house! First of all, our kids aren’t allowed to watch that tripe. The networks try to sneak it in between cartoons but we nip that as soon as the theme song goes on. Those shows get their laughs from the broad comedy that we see in old vaudeville. Mugging for the camera. Over the top reactions to insanely unlikely scenarios. However, because they are real actors, the kids begin to believe that big reactions and drama are normal. Well, it ain’t, at least in my house.


          My boys have this thing where they watch their cartoons and, when a cool toy comes on, they yell out ‘I want that!’ The toys range from any of the cool cars (Hot Wheels) to movie toys that are so amazing (Star Wars, Transformers). They even say things like ‘I want to give that to Gabby!’ (my niece) when it’s a doll or Barbie. Now, do they expect to get those things? Do they expect Mom and Dad to hold up Geoffrey the Giraffe at gun point and empty out Toys R Us including their weird toys that no one knows why they would carry such items? Do my boys think that our 14 foot Christmas tree is going to be dwarfed by the amount of gifts the fat man in the red suit is bringing them? No.


          My kids are not wanting but they have never and will never be spoiled. We teach them at an early age that one is enough and to be grateful for what they have. Thank you is just as important as saying please. In our home, we say thank you whenever anyone does anything. For example, ‘Bobby, pick up your toys!’ is quickly followed by ‘Thanks Bobby!’ Now Bobby does the same thing with Ricky. When we go out, the kids are held to the same standards. The boys have learned to walk through the store with their hands at their back. When we ask them to get something for us it is quickly followed by the call and response of ‘thanks’ and ‘you’re welcome’.


          Life is pleasant in our home. Everyone pulls their weight and no one expects a pass because they are too small. Everybody is expected to give their thanks even for getting food! Does this mean we have no revolts in this faux socialist kingdom (faux since Paul and I are the bosses and I don’t give a crap how many times you say please or thank you to me)? Sure they revolt! They argue! They bitch! But at the end of the day, they are thankful for what they have since they know that all knowing and controlling king and queen can take it all away in a second. And for their great benevolence, they are grateful!   
  

          Paul says: Our children are revolting? Hell, they’re disgusting! Sorry but I needed to do the bad joke, not because it is funny but because it is accurate. One of the problems with the ungrateful brats on TV is that they do not say thank you to the obvious but unseen cleaning person. Everything in these kid’s lives is pristine whereas my kids eat like Henry the Eighth’s sloppy cousin, dropping food whenever they become bored. But we taught them well because they are always grateful when, 15 minutes later, they happen upon the same chunk of banana, realize that they are still hungry and pop it in their mouth.

sharebookmarx Ungrateful Little Brats

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