Celebrity Rehab - CoupleDumb

sex rehab opt 300x199 Cameras in a Rehab! What a great idea.

          Monday is a day where we desperately need to refocus our attentions and pinpoint our addled brains on a topic that will fascinate and spark insight as to the issue of human relations. Sure, we’ve thought about doing weeks on feather top versus memory foam (neither of which we actually use) and Coke versus Pepsi (easy, Coke). Neither of these topics elicits ranting or even a contemplative moment. So this week’s topic was brought about by watching TV and the glut of Reality Programming that we are forced to watch to just escape everyday life. This week we salute the Reality TV program and discuss how it helps or hinders our understanding of human relations.

          Lee says: Personally, I watch Reality TV for the sheer rubbernecking aspect of it. As a psychotherapist, I see most reality shows are merely a thick gruel of pettiness, pathology and soft pornography. I love sitting there and predicting the whacko just in the first few minutes of the first show. No, I can’t watch a whole season of most shows. However, I will admit to some, which I just adore.

          I love Dr. Drew Pinsky! There, I said it. His shows Celebrity Rehab, Sex Rehab and Sober House have been incredible examples of rehab and the addiction process that I must commend him on doing such a great job. Unless you have been in rehab or worked in a rehab center, you may think that the drama is fake ala ‘The Hills’ or exacerbated due to celebrities acting like divas, but you would be wrong. In my experience as the Clinical Director of a Rehab and Director of Programs, I can tell you with complete certainty that this shit is real.

          My favorite so far has been Sex Rehab. Comcast is currently showing it On-Demand so you should catch a few episodes if you can. The show demonstrates some deep level therapy taking place with the bonus of great insights. I know that most of these people are unrecognizable and the term celebrity is extremely loose, but that takes nothing away from their work. In my opinion after their treatment, they were all rock stars (except for the Borderline that got kicked out). Dr. Drew even showed how they had to discipline a staff member (terminated) when she lost control and let the bitch of the season get to her. All of the drama was nothing compared to the realizations that the participants had. They did anger release, art therapy, group therapy and individual work that helped them work on issues such as sexual, physical and emotional abuse, abandonment and deep grief. And the best part is that it isn’t this bullshit ‘They all lived happily ever after’ stuff. Dr. Drew stresses the very present possibility of relapse which to the general public is just another reason to think that rehab is crap. What he shows is that relapse is real when you stop working your program. I loved that! Finally, some real television!

          O.K., I know, I’m weird. The reality of reality TV is that most of it isn’t. I know you know that much is scripted and set up for drama but these shows and others such as Intervention and Hoarders show some real emotions and provide us with an education to real human relations. Everything else out there is sensationalized, hyperbolic shit that shows the worst of relationships. Even Super Nanny shows children who for the most part should be tested and medicated. I’m sure some shows aren’t even aired when they find the 4 year old terror just killed another neighborhood cat or the Nanny gets treated for tetanus after getting shanked by the 5 year old girl who fashioned a shiv out of Barbie’s left hand.

          Paul says: Ok, so we are writing about reality TV. Is Battlestar Galactica real? No? How about Star Trek? No? Damn! I got nothing. How about Mythbusters? Yes! Great I love them because they blow stuff up.

sharebookmarx Cameras in a Rehab! What a great idea.

SantawithList Our Celebrity Christmas List

          Hola friends and enemies! It’s Wednesday when we usually find an innocent celebrity and have our way with them. Some weeks are worse than others and we realize that since Christmas is quickly approaching, Santa might not like us smacking down these unsullied ingenuous. It’s like beating up baby sheep! So, before they send us 3 + ghosts, we are changing our wicked ways (just for the Christmas season because we want our presents). In fact, we are going to show you our Christmas list for celebrities that we are sending Santa on behalf of these wayward puppies. And remember, it’s the thought that counts.

          Dear Santa,

          This year, instead of backing up your sleigh to our house and dropping off loads of presents, we ask that you give our gifts to celebrities who can use the miracle of the season more than us. Yes, we keep Christmas in our heart all year long (except for Wednesdays and the occasional road trip). However, some of these celebrities have forgotten the miracle of this season and need to be reminded. Some will need a gentle nudge while others will require more convincing that we will arrange with some Russian friends we have. So without further ado, our short but selfless list.

alcohawk pro Our Celebrity Christmas List As minor celebrities, we know it can be tough to turn down that bottle of champagne when it’s sent to our table. It’s even harder to stop ourselves from getting behind the wheel or even walking the sidewalk that is covered in paparazzi. So for our friends like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Keifer Sutherland, Mel Gibson, Shane Lamas, Joyce DeWitt, the Black Power Ranger, Carmine Ragusa, Bobby from Brady Bunch, Sam Shepard, Charles Barkley, Tank Girl, gay dude from Trading Spaces (we should be more specific shouldn’t we), Shia LeBeouf, Heather Locklear, MaryAnn, Gary Collins and so many others that we are afraid we’re going to herniate a disc on our poor Santa, we ask for an AlcoHawk Pro: Professional Edition Digital Alcohol Detector.

          For the celebs listed above and for those who partake in other substances, we also ask for Native Remedies Liver Dr. for Ongoing Liver Health (50ml) because you know those livers look like an oil filter on a car that was driven by a ditzy teen who forgot to ever change the oil and the engine seized.

          We would love to ask for common sense but we know that it is neither common nor does it always make sense. We would ask for handlers that would save them from the onslaught of press that will force them to open their mouths and say stupid things. However, they have those people but unlike you Santa, they can’t be everywhere all the time.

kidnapping Our Celebrity Christmas List Some things that these celebrities need are not available in stores and would require some extra special skills to acquire. We would like to send John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Jenna Elfman, Kirstie Ally and a bunch of other Scientologists a team of Deprogrammers. They are obviously out of their minds and Stockholm Syndrome is not a joke. We have intentionally omitted Tom Cruise because it has become obvious that without the pseudo religion, he would have nothing.

          We thank you for everything Santa. We promise next year our list will be tame and include the usual things like Peace on Earth, a Ferrari and diamond encrusted grills.

          Love, Lee and Paul

sharebookmarx Our Celebrity Christmas List

sex drive seth green I love you, and you, and you, and you.

One of our secret pleasures is watching Sober House or Celebrity Rehab. We think that Dr. Drew is a great guy and the nay sayers can suck it. Dr. Pinsky is showing the reality of rehab. Now granted, most rehab facilities aren’t that nice but the drama, process and insight are still very realistic. We can joke all we want to about the over indulgent celebrity and the lack of willpower from the spoiled babies of the world but the reality is addiction is as common as blinking and to deny it is just more symptom of an addiction.

Prior to this incarnation as a writer, I was a practicing psychotherapist. My specialty was addiction. Usually, people assume that serious addictions are contained in the drug and alcohol realm. They say to me, ‘Lee, you don’t die from a shopping addiction’. The reality is that addictions of any kind strip your soul. Whether you are gambling, drinking, having sex or shooting up, you ultimately die in some way if it goes unchecked.

One of the worst, most insidious of the addictions is a relationship addiction. You ask, ‘But Lee, it’s not like I’m selling my body to pay for my stuff’. My response is simple, ‘Sure you are!’ The classic symptoms of a relationship addiction is identifying yourself with a status of a relationship (if the relationship is happy, so are you), you ignore obvious signs that the relationship is not right for you (this is where the gem ‘opposites attract’ came from), attachment issues (lots of breaking up to making up) and you go from deep loneliness to periods of euphoria in a relationship. You tend to hate being alone and obsess about your partner or lack of one.

You are probably thinking, ‘But Lee, this is every movie, song and TV show I watch!’ And you would be right. Relationship addiction is so pervasive that we think it’s normal. But, normal does not mean healthy. Sure it’s normal to drink during college but it can be quite deadly. And the worst part about this is that your friends and family support the addiction! You’ll never see an intervention like the one on TV for this type of addiction. They can hate your boyfriend then give you crap for being single. There is no pleasing people.

I say screw them and please yourself. The greatest gift you can give yourself is placing you as your priority. It is relatively impossible to have that mentality and have a relationship addiction. If you choose to be happy, you refuse to allow people to mistreat you and you would never settle for mediocre love.

Many people thought Paul and I wouldn’t last. We never had any big fights, breakups or went to parties while angry with one another thus making all the other attendees uncomfortable. We were weird. I will give you a clue, if you are dating and you spend more time fighting and crying than having fun and laughing then change your name and phone number and move away. It will never work and you will never be happy. Sure you will have brief glimpses of contentment but you deserve so much more. And for those of you who actually say things like, ‘I’m staying for the kids sake’, I have news for you. Your kids will do better when you divorce and you are only teaching them to settle for dysfunctional, addictive love. Be honest and tell them, ‘Hello my name is ____(insert name here) and I am a relationship addict’.

sharebookmarx I love you, and you, and you, and you.

Cameras in a Rehab! What a great idea.

Our Celebrity Christmas List

I love you, and you, and you, and you.

Discount Codes

Sites We Like

Search