Carrie Prejean - CoupleDumb

prejean 245x300 WTF of the Week: Carrie The Diddler Prejean

          You know where we stand on gay marriage. We’re for it! You know where we stand on bigots. We hate them. You can say we are bigot bigots. But, do you have any idea where we stand on masturbation? You may have guessed we are all for self-diddling. Rubbing one out or flicking the bean are as natural as putting hot fudge on ice cream. We are members of the Jocelyn Elders fan club and will admit to carpal tunnel from our own forays into the land of self pleasuring.

          However now due to Carrie Prejeans sex tape we feel dirty. This bitch has taken something so private and beautiful and made it a soap box for the religious right. We thought those Christians thought masturbation was bad? However, according to poor maligned Prejean, she was a teenager when she made the tape for a boyfriend she loved ‘at the time’. Wow! How many things are fucked up with that? She was a teenager? Uh, Carrie, 20 is not a teenager. 20, in our country, is considered an adult. And Carrie, didn’t your Momma ever teach you that beating around the bush was sinful? Weren’t you raised with ‘good’ Christian values and repressed sexuality?

          We also love the line ‘my boyfriend that I loved at the time’ meaning ‘heads up boys, if she falls in love with you this may be your stocking stuffer!’ Where was the mistake? Making the video, sending it to your boyfriend or not realizing that this thing could come up and bite you in the ass someday? You have some nerve talking about how you are so persecuted by the liberals for being honest and then you try and deny that you made a tape then end up chocking this all up to being a 20 year old teenager! You seemed old enough to be fucking around and please do not say you are some sort of virgin. Nobody starts out making fluffing the kitty videos. Come on, you are a supposed teenager (and can we just suggest you make up some other excuse other than being underage, maybe brain damage or extreme stupidity). We are sure that in the not so distant future there will be some night scope vision video of you on all fours coming to a web site near you.

          Come on Carrie, you can say you were young all you want to but making a video of yourself cunt cuddling goes beyond your regular 20 year old teenage love games. Listen up, we are an old married couple and we have owned several video cameras in over 20 years together. Yes we have videotaped our sexcapades like any other healthy, kinky adults. However, since we aren’t narcissists, we watched it once, laughed our asses off and then erased it from existence. It’s not that we didn’t trust the other but to keep anything like that shows a level of self esteem or arrogance that we just don’t possess.

sharebookmarx WTF of the Week: Carrie The Diddler Prejean

carrie with v 188x300 WTF of the Week: Et tu Maine?

          We think we have been clear here, haven’t we? We think we have stated our position over and over again throughout our 10 months of posting. We are sure if you go over the WTFs you will find that more than half have been dedicated to the sheer stupidity and utter fuckery of the conservatives who feel that they have to take this country by the hand before we are engulfed in the flames of hell. Our only question is, WHAT THE FUCK MAINE?

          We were stunned yet cynically relieved that Maine repealed the Gay Marriage law on Tuesday. Relieved because stupidity is still alive and well and ultimately, the Save Marriage assholes are becoming what they fear the most. Let’s face it, we are a country of hypocrisy. We were forged out of revolution and as the oppositional defiant children of a greater country then quickly dominated the world. Today, anything remotely different terrifies us, especially if we are about accepting the second class citizens, and the mere concept of revolution must be squashed like a bug. Could all of this be the karma this country has dreaded for over 230 years?

          Listen Bible Thumping, Prejean Loving, Saddleback Approving, Bigoted Asses that hide behind a God that is so appalled by your words and behavior He is actually reconsidering the whole unconditional love thing. You have done this before and always lost. Go ahead and revel in the glory of this win but the precedent you are setting is not healthy. You are reversing laws. Do you understand that? Can you see the danger in that? Let us give you a hint: Today you can sleep safe in the smug knowledge that you guys are getting your way and the Silent Majority has let you push your Christian and homophobic agenda to the ridiculous. Tomorrow, when the Silent Majority speaks out and breaks the curse of this moniker, all of us are going after you. That’s right! Imagine waking up to find that white, Christian men can’t vote in this country? Or, that political action groups disguised as religious organizations lose their nonprofit status? Or better yet, wake up to find Carrie Prejean at a Lilith Faire concert singing an Indigo Girl song while burning a vagina candle with her wife, Ruth. Now that’s a good morning for us!

sharebookmarx WTF of the Week: Et tu Maine?

wtf WTF of the Week: Upholding the Gay Marriage Ban in California

There are many things one can say about this ruling announced on Tuesday. We can look at this logically and say that the plaintiffs didn’t argue the right angle by asserting that it’s too easy to change the Californian constitution. We can say that the California Supreme court is just upholding the law and is not going to legislate from the bench. Sure… and we can also say that the justices were a bunch of wimps and know that Prop 8 is a poorly veiled legal way of treating people as second class citizens.

We are Californians by birth. We were born and raised in Los Angeles County. We met in L.A. and married in L.A.. In our hearts, even after living in Miami for almost 14 years, we are still Californians. So it pains us to see that the ‘left coast’ just can’t seem to live up to its hype. One word: Iowa. That’s right.

And while we are on the subject, Maggie Gallagher, president of the National Organization for Marriage, was pleased as punch and cookies when she heard the court’s ruling. Maggie, a former single mother, sits on her large throne and runs a think tank that obviously has no ventilation since the only thinking they do is to come up with new ways to scare Christians into thinking that homos marrying is the same as killing the baby Jesus. This is the same woman who defended Carrie Prejean and called her a martyr. Yeah, we know. Martyrs usually die so if she was planning on offing Miss California, she better get to it.

I guess we can say what everybody else is saying. It’s sad. We’re sad we live in a country where some of our friends are treated like second class citizens. We’re sad that people stand behind their faith to force their bigotry on everyone. I guess we are sad that bitches like Maggie and Carrie are doing pudding shots off of Carrie’s fake titties because of this ruling. I guess we’re sad that we just put that image out there and will now drink until the picture in our mind goes away.

sharebookmarx WTF of the Week: Upholding the Gay Marriage Ban in California

WTF of the Week: Carrie 'The Diddler' Prejean

WTF of the Week: Et tu Maine?

WTF of the Week: Upholding the Gay Marriage Ban in California

Discount Codes

Sites We Like

Search