We all have dreams.  Some people have dreams of being successful and rich.  Some others would forego all of that to be able to express themselves artistically. Musicians, painters, writers and performers have been known to live in squalor to be able to practice their craft. Then you get Hollywood douche bags like Billy Bob Thornton to come and dash the dreams and hopes of some impressive musicians because he thinks he’s Tom Petty. Canada kicked you out and now be prepared to get the Smackdown from CoupleDumb!

Lee says: I’ve always thought that Billy Bob Thornton was a little odd. I saw ‘Slingblade’ and it was obvious that guy was channeling some fucked up guy who really liked his ‘potaters’. I have never understood any woman’s attraction to him and the fact that he married Angelina Jolie just makes her suspect.  As an actor, I have always believed he is good and probably could be quite significant if he ever picked the right projects.

          But now, Mr. Thornton is a musician and, like most divas, has forgotten his past or the level of success he garnered as an Oscar winning actor and screenwriter that afforded him the opportunity to indulge his musical proclivities. He formed a band called the Boxmasters and produced three albums in the last year. He was touring with the likes of Willie Nelson. Do you really think that any dinky band that produced its first record would get a chance of doing a world tour with Willie Nelson? Of course not, Billy Bob! You received this great opportunity because of who you are; Oscar Winning Billy Bob.

          So Mr. Ungrateful decides he’s a musician and you can’t mention that ever. He has a really bad interview on Canadian radio where he proves once and for all that he is an interminable asshole. His band, which was present, was obviously disgusted by his behavior and seemed ready to disown him however, because they probably would not have a career without him, they have not castrated and unceremoniously kicked him out of the band. The two other members of Boxmasters consist of an engineer/producer and bluegrass guitar specialist. Yeah, they have ample opportunities to get up in front of thousands of people and play music all the time.

          Billy Bob you are living your dream. You have wanted to be a musician and, like the Canadian radio host said, this is your first love. Even though that set you off and made you call out the name of the first chick you banged, the sentiment was important and was making your point. Your first dream was to be a musician. You reached that goal by entering the movie business. If you feel this tarnishes your street cred as a real musician, tough shit. You chose your path. Now, your behavior is becoming dangerously close to thwarting the dreams of those around you. We know artists have a narcissistic streak and the feelings of others are just the green M&Ms in the bowl when you gave explicit directions that you only wanted the red and yellow.

          Artistic integrity does not supersede being a compassionate human being. You can try to explain your behavior away and place the blame on the interviewer but ultimately you can’t wash the asshole away. Wait a second. I think that would be a good name for a song. I can here the twanging guitar already for this tearful ballad. ‘I try every day, and to my dismay, I can’t wash the asshole away!’

          Paul says: I don’t understand him. When Lee and I are famous, that interviewer would have to pee in our coffee to make us mad and, even then…we’re whores. It does not make sense to me to be living your dreams (and, yes, it can be plural) and cop an attitude. I’ll be a whore for my dreams.