And then we cry. Not him. Just us.
Our Tuesdays are now sponsored by La Scuola school. Please take a look at their site at www.reggioinspired.com and give them a call at (305) 278-9555.
With our son starting school yesterday, we just had to take a look at this whole schooling thing. Who knew that people took education so seriously?
Paul says: I am a layperson. I may spout great wisdoms based on my experiences in my own therapy and my happy coexistence with a wife who is a therapist but when it comes right down to it, I am still just some guy that has learned a lot over his life. So this means that I still get surprised by stuff occasionally.
It happened recently when Lee and I were discussing educational approaches with our friend, Nadine, and she had both knowledge and opinion on the subject. She is a kindergarten teacher and what impressed me was the fact that she had studied this stuff and really found it important.
I know that it sounds silly and a bit arrogant but I knew that Nadine had a master in education but I really had no idea what she learned getting this degree. Now that I have confessed my lack of knowledge, I will impart to you what I learned about educational approaches as a result. (Since I was obviously pretty stupid and at least mildly offensive, I got quite the lesson. I will try to boil it down to a few lines since you are smarter and less obnoxious then me.
Even I have heard of the Montessori approach to learning. If you go to the official Montessori site, one of the first things that they tell you is that the word Montessori in not copyrighted and anyone can call themselves a Montessori teacher. So watch out. As far as the actual approach, they believe in work, which I think is brilliant. Let’s face it, it is work. Coloring in the lines in no less difficult to a kindergartener than adding a column of numbers is to an accountant. Montessori is child driven education with the kids learning at their pace and with the help of other kids. From reading the parent bulletin boards , the impression is that Montessori really works well for bright kids that are neither shy nor outgoing. Since Montessori values quite self-driven motivation, shy kids tend to be overshadowed and outgoing kids tend to be troublemakers. Child to teacher ratio tends to be high since the children are encouraged to handle their own learning.
The teaching approach that got me all lectured at was the Reggio Emilia model because the school that our youngest started at yesterday follows that approach. Rick has the learning style of Bacchus, loud and overindulgent, so Montessori is definitely out for him. Apparently, the Reggio Emilia approach is the nanobot technology of education in that it is all kinds of cutting edge. For example, Google has a complex for their bazillion employees that they call the Googleplex. Of course, the Googleplex has a day care/school and, you guessed it, they follow the Reggio Emilia approach. For the Reggio Emilia people, kids learn because they like learning stuff. Every parent knows that children are all infected with some level of OCD. When they decide that they like something, nothing in heaven or earth will dissuade them. So what they do is build whole lessons around these likes. Ricky like trains so he will learn letters by spelling train, colors from coloring trains, science from locomotion… you get the idea. Ricky is going to become a little train specialist. Also, the other big deal is the level of communication. They communicate the ’experiences’ of the child every day plus project documentation and scrapbooks and anything else that they can think of.
I can keep going because there are a billion different approaches, from some that are Quaker-like with faceless dolls and wood toys to super progressive hippies, but I’m not going to go through every one (mainly because I am typing this at a party and I want to go get my drink on).
Bottom line is to know your child and know yourself. From there you can research schools and match one to your family’s needs.
Lee says: Teaching and learning is as varied as wines. Stop and take a minute to educate yourself. No, we are not big supporters of home-schooling but we do believe in advocating for your kids and being supportive. I like that kids are being taught in different styles and encouraged to explore. Ricky can do that for 6 hours a day and be exhausted when he comes home.
Jul 292010
Remember when you could roll into your home around dawn? Remember when you could sleep till afternoon o’clock and have breakfast for dinner because that was your first meal of the day and you weren’t being silly? Remember when you could lay in bed with your partner all day and nap and make love and talk and nap and make love … Well? Remember? Yeah, we don’t either.
Lee says: I miss the halcyon days of being a newlywed. The days would bleed into the other. It was a time of hedonism and it was good to be selfish which generally meant that you were being pleasured. Those were the days where older couples would look at us and call us newlyweds and chuckle like it was a bad thing. Those were the days where we built castles in the sky and perused the Ikea catalogue to furnish our highest tower with a Malm of our own. So if things were that great, why have kids?
Having children is a choice. Yes, there are some people that believe having kids is their duty. There are people who believe that it is the natural progression in life to go from child to adult to parent. There are even those who are a little perplexed with the whole process and have no idea how they even wound up with a kid. Ultimately, having kids is a choice. Choosing to become a parent is something that should not be taken lightly and is permanent. I know people who became parents and put more thought into a tattoo than how they would parent.
I realize the topic of this post is a little harsh and in some cases, late. The thing is that I have developed more respect for people who choose not to have kids. These people have put some thought about themselves as parents, how it would affect their lives and the overall reality of child-rearing. It has been shown that the average couples’ depth of conversation regarding childbearing is limited to ‘do you want some?’
Researchers have seen that unless a couple has experienced a delay in conceiving, the conversation of how a couple would rear a child does not take place until after the child is either already due or is born. In most cases, it never takes place at all. We put more thought into what theme to decorate a nursery. We put more thought into what kind of car seat we want. All of this is scary and is a disservice to a child.
The decision of whether or not to have kids is serious. It should never be an after-thought or automatic. There are a million factors to consider such as the physical, social, financial, marital and relational issues. Just because you babysat the neighbor is not considered resume worthy information. How about checking if you even like kids? How about if you see how you do with other people’s kids? How about if you take a hard look at your marriage or relationship and do some soul searching regarding whether you guys can stand the stressors of a baby/child?
Once a couple makes an informed decision, I believe it is important to respect that decision. I have met so many people who have said they did not want kids and watched as hordes bombarded them with judgments and clichés. Parenting is not for everyone and, in some cases, just because you can do it doesn’t mean you should.
Paul says: OK, you have convinced me. Let’s not have kids. What? It’s too late now? Damn. In that case, children are a blessing and everyone should have one. Send me an email with an address and approximate age requirements and I will ship one to you. I have three in stock.
(BTW That is a joke. When I get a good night sleep, I adore my kids. All the other times, I just love them.)
