Kids and why you can’t kill them

Fun Christmas Gifts For Kids

Dec 132011

Of course, since we are doing all kinds of list, we need to give a list for toys for kids, or for that adult that acts like a kid.

Curious Critters [Hardcover]

This book is gorgeous! The Pictures pop out at you and narrative is very informative. This is a lovely book to give to a child or pretend to and keep it in your bookshelf.

Danny Phantom: Season One 4 Disc DVD

Shout Kids Factory has some great DVD collections for kids. I personally like Danny Phantom and enjoyed watching these with the boys (and without). If you are a fan, go and get this for your kids. This way it won’t seem so pathetic when you watch them.

Matchbox Smokey The Fire Truck

Have you seen this guy? He is awesome. I love it. I play with the sample at Toys’R'Us every time I go. It’s fun. Interactive. Shoots stuff. He even farts! What boy would not love this?

Hot Wheels Video Racer Micro Camera Car – Green

I learned about this toy from Paul, a 47 year old man. His words, ‘That is so cool’ said in a hushed tone mixed with awe and a smidgen of coveting. This is the space-age stuff we expected along with hover cars and robots. Great gift for a boy and his Dad.

Crayola Crayon Maker with Story Studio

I was skeptical until I saw the commercial. This is reminiscent of the wax paper art we would do but you can actually color with your creations. If my 18 year old daughter were younger it would be a neat gift to share.

Older children (over 40)

Cards Against Humanity

Adults should get toys too. This is Christmas, after all. This game allow your inner asshole to come out and play. I don’t have anyone to give this to since all of my friends and family wear their assholeness proudly.

I did get a copy of Curious Critters and Danny Phantom for review. It made it to the list on its own merits.

Gifts For Kids You Do Not Like

Kids and why you can't kill them

Nov 292011

THE Relationship Blog

So this post can be listed either under the category of Public Service Announcement or under the category of Let’s Not Kill The Kids. Check out the site from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission that lists the hazardous toy recalls. It is very illuminating and a bit scary. If you do not have time to go over every one of them, here is my list of 5 WTF toys that I would probably buy for a child but they were recalled because they were just too much fun.

1. Buckyballs® High Powered Magnets Set

The Buckyball, named after Buckminster Fuller, is both a cool piece of science and a fun toy. This set has high powered magnets to hold it together. As a matter of fact, the magnets are so high powered that they were not suitable for children under the age of 14. Apparently they can perforate an intestine if swallowed. But they need to be swallowed. How else can you get the electromagnetic field to mutate your DNA?

2. Jide Toy Military Figurine

How do you protect the modern toy army? With lead, baby! How else can we make our children stupid enough to join the army in their adulthood? (Though we at CoupleDumb are pacifists, we are thankful for the brave men and women that serve for our country. But we cannot pass up a good joke no matter how much hate mail it may bring.)

3. Liquidation Outlet Toy Figurines

Yes, more lead. But these ones are only sold at the Dollar Stores. There has to be a conspiracy happening here. This is just the man keeping us Dollar Store patrons down.

4. JAKKS Pacific® Recalls Spa Factory™ Aromatherapy Kits Due to Explosion and Projectile Hazards

Nothing says relaxation like a good explosion. We see no reason to recall this product. Just put a label on it that says ‘Warning: May blow Momma’s ass out of the bathtub’. We have a best seller here.

5. Dive Sticks Due to Impalement Hazard

The stick can remain upright and impale a child. They were recalled and later reissued as the Vlad The Impaler Fun Toy.

Ah, the holidays…so many toys and so many hours in the ER. Our kids are very blessed this year and will be receiving the complete Dysaffirmation wardrobe and coffee mug. We will also probably get them the new Dysaffirmation E-book (currently free!).

The Evolution Of A Parent

Kids and why you can't kill them

Nov 152011

THE Relationship Blog

So we have established that people change. If this is not established in your mind, take it and believe it. Everybody changes, whether they want to or not. The only question is whether you will allow healthy growth or painfully resist but one way or another change will occur. Knowing this, what do you do about it? As a parent, how does this come into play?

The role of change and parenting is something that we can speak about with authority. We are the parents of an 18 year old daughter, a 7 year old son, and a 4 year old son. Our daughter did not have the same parents as our 4 year old. Sure, their parents were the same in genetic structure but not in psyche. Our daughter’s parents were paranoid, constantly waiting for the boogie man that would tear apart our happy home. And, of course, she has special needs which only confirmed that at any moment God would reach down to smite us when we least expected it. Therefore we always expected it. That will teach the Big Guy not to mess with us.

By the time the boys came around our relationship with God and reality had mellowed a bit. God is on our side, the boys are armor plated, and we have learned to keep our worries in check. Obviously the only thing in this scenario that has changed is us. The Big Man has stayed pretty constant and there is no new indestructability technology that is protecting the boys. (But it would be cool if there was. Like an Iron Man suit or something.)

The important part of this change in parenting is the acknowledgement that we have and are constantly changing as parents. Nothing good can come from pretending that the same rules and beliefs that we had with our daughter still have to apply to our boys. Nor will it work to assume that the same relationship we had with our daughter a year ago applies to now. This weekend, our daughter will come home from college for the first time and spend Thanksgiving with us. Last time she was at home, she was dependent and ‘under our roof’ with all of the poopoo that comes with it. But she has changed and our relationship has to change with her. The first step in creating this evolution is to acknowledge that it is happening.

This evolution continues all through our lives. Even in our 40’s, our relationships with our own parent’s changes for better or worse. As things out of our control influence us and force change, the threads of relationship bend and flex to accommodate the changes. A parent or child becomes ill and we change. If they get better then we must evolve the relationship. If they do not then we still must evolve the relationship.

Changes in the body, alterations in hormone levels, and the human experience flowing through Erikson’s developmental stages are not just confined to specific areas or times in our lives. They do not solely belong to adolescents and menopause. They are not confined to birth and end of life. We change every day. We evolve constantly. With every blink of the eye, we have a new opportunity, a new responsibility, to create something wonderful in our relationships.