Relaxation!!! - CoupleDumb

Get Help With PTSD

Aug 232012

Real Relationship Advice

When we are acknowledging trauma, it is imperative that we talk it out. The majority of Support Groups are centered on a form of trauma (for example; grief, witnessing addiction, rape). The reason for these groups is simple: sharing your experience, releasing that shame, is vital to true healing. However it is not the magic bullet. Sure, you will feel better but true healing will only take place when you deal with the experience as an adult and bring in forgiveness. I know, that is a very tall order but now you see why a professional will assist you in getting to the place where you can forgive.

There are specific forms of therapy that work best with PTSD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is used frequently in working with PTSD. With the use of behavioral techniques, such as exposure, the therapist systematically introduce the client to lesser forms of the trauma/stressor until the client becomes comfortable with the stimulus. The problem with this is that not all trauma is that clear cut so as to work with exposure. This works well with PTSD which has created phobias.

We strongly recommend Hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy is not just a fad to quit smoking or cluck like a chicken. Hypnotherapy is a technique whereas the professional therapist practices deep therapy with a client while the client is in trance. The trance state helps the client relax and brings down the normal barriers. Hypnotherapy cuts through the façade and gets to the core of the issue quicker and more efficiently while still feeling safe. It is widely used for combat vets and we have seen it used very effectively with abuse, rape and other traumatic life events.

We cannot provide some band aid relaxation techniques for PTSD. You must get treatment from a trained professional. And even though we believe in the value of bringing spirituality into therapy, we strongly believe that praying is not enough. You must seek a therapist with PTSD experience.

Please write us if you have any further questions regarding PTSD or are interested in a referral to a local professional.

If you are in Southern Florida, please contact Phoenix Center for Healing. They do amazing work and have experience with veterans and all other types of PTSD.

When is enough, enough?

Relaxation!!!

Jun 142012

Real Relationship Advice

We can discuss relaxation or relieving anxiety week after week without needing to repeat ourselves. However, none of this information will make a difference if you continue to overwhelm yourself. Society has put greater pressure on us to be multitaskers. We value individuals who are able to juggle more than a couple things at a time. We revere them. However, is a world full of multitaskers a good thing? How does that affect your ability to relax?

There was a study conducted a few years ago at Western Washington University. The study was very simple. Random students were asked whether they saw anything unusual when they walked across the University quad. Only 25% of those walking through the quad while speaking on their cell phone noticed a clown riding around the campus. In other words, the ones who were multi-tasking were not paying attention. We often wonder if the surge of ADD is not a question of over-whelming and over-stimulating the system rather than a true inability to pay attention.

The only way to create a life of manageable stress is to start out with a life that is not unmanageable. We take on projects with an eye on the outcome without thinking about the time consumption. We keep heaping more on our ‘to do’ pile without regard to how another impending deadline will affect us. The truth is that we are creating our own misery. We are choosing to be overwhelmed. We are choosing to be drowning in deadlines and be mediocre to disappointing in performance.

Moms tend to be a culprit of this behavior. It is expected of us to do a million things and still volunteer our time in our child’s classroom. We are expected to care for our children, husband’s and home and have a life of our own where we join book clubs or workout or have a girl’s nights and do carpools, Dr.’s appointments, play-dates, Mommy and Me, lactation seminars, healthy snacks for soccer, reading time in our child’s class and bake gluten free cupcakes for our daughter’s American Girl Club. A Mom’s life is no longer that of a caretaker but more of a personal assistant/chauffer/chef who keeps everyone’s schedules, maintains the dietary management of all family members, drives more miles than your average cab driver and still open’s herself to more responsibility.

It is no wonder that Moms are taking anxiety medication to get through the day. It is no wonder that women are drinking more today than ever before. It is no wonder that more Moms are seeking out help with stress than ever before. However, no matter how many yoga classes you take, it will not manage your stress if you need to rush out of a downward dog position to go make crafts for your 10 blog post of the week. Too much is just that.

It takes a good woman to handle everything that life throws at you. It takes a great woman to say, ‘no, I do not have the time for that.’ Make yourself the priority of your schedule and your stress will become manageable before you need to bake another batch of nut-free carob chip cookies.

Myths of Hypnosis

Relaxation!!!

Jun 072012

Real Relationship Advice

I was certified as a Hypnotherapist 17 years ago. I have used it as a practitioner and as a client. As the person in the chair I can tell you without any reservation that the benefits I have received from hypnotherapy have been immeasurable. In many cases, I have been able to go back into my past and right the wrongs, heal the traumas and generally make sense of the senseless. I do not know who I would be today if I had not taken that training all those years ago.

Hypnosis has been used in the field of psychology for nearly 200 years. Freud and Erickson were among some of the more famous users of this technique. Hypnosis is mostly famous for the cheap parlor tricks and the stage shows showing people squawking like chickens or sci-fi films referring to hypnosis as a mind control technique. These shows do more to hurt than help. The following are a list of myths about hypnosis:

1. Hypnosis is mind control: NOPE! Hypnosis is simply a trance state where the person hypnotized is relaxed and open to suggestion. The hypnotized are not sleeping and are aware of everything that is going on. Also, all hypnosis is self hypnosis since the hypnotized is in control.

2. Only weak minded people can be hypnotized: NOPE! Anyone can be hypnotized. In fact, human beings go in and out of hypnosis all the time! For example: Have you ever been watching TV and someone is calling your name and you do not notice them? That is a trance-state. In fact, they have found that very intelligent people tend to be more susceptible to trance.

3. Hypnosis is MIND CONTROL: We said, NOPE! People in hypnosis are perfectly capable of saying ‘no’ to their hypnotists. In fact, the person you see squawking like a chicken would probably have squawked before being hypnotized. You are in control.

4. Hypnosis is evil: NOPE! This belief comes from the idea that hypnosis is mind control. Now that you know it isn’t you should conclude that it isn’t an ‘invitation to the Devil’ or ‘demonic’. It is relaxation.

5. Hypnosis is just a parlor trick: NO WAY! Hypnosis is used in all forms of therapy and even medicine. Women use it to offset the pain of labor. Dentists use it for individuals with anesthesia issues. Hypnosis is considered one of the best techniques to manage pain!

Hypnosis is not the scary thing that the media and superstitious types have made it out to be. This is a great way to relax and can be done by anyone. For practitioners in your area, please leave a comment and we would be happy to make a referral.

Namaste!

A Little On Transcendental Meditation

Relaxation!!!

May 242012

Real Relationship Advice

We use a lot of words incorrectly. We use peruse to say that we browsed something and ironic as if it were coincidental. The most misused word is the arena of relaxation is meditation. Meditation is a mental practice that is used for the sole purpose of opening the mind and finding a peaceful consciousness. However, the Western World uses the term to suggest that it is a means by which to contemplate on a subject or term. We say things like, ‘I need to meditate on that’ when we really mean think about it.

One of the most taught meditations is Transcendental Meditations. I have practiced this for the last 7 years. The practice is simply to allow you to experience a silence and an awareness of pure thoughts. In Transcendental Meditation we focus on a Sanskrit word or mantra. TM takes no special skills or even incredible mind control in the very beginning. You simply practice this for 15 to 20 minutes daily and you will see a dramatic decrease in your levels of stress. Also, for us creative types, TM is a great way to find inspiration simply by quieting all our extraneous thoughts. Granted, you do not contemplate clarity. It comes to you.

Here is the quick and dirty directions to Transcendental Meditation:

1. Find a comfortable place where you will not be disturbed for at least 20 minutes.

2. Turn off your cell phones and any other distractions.

3. Sit with your feet on the ground and hands held loosely in your lap.

4. You can attempt a simple lotus position but that limits how, when and where you can practice.

5. Pick a mantra which to repeat. Mantras are sounds or words that vibrate and can create change. The following is a teeny list of common mantras and their meanings:

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Hare, Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama, Rama, Hare Hare = Worship Krishna, Worship Rama (To be clear, Hinduism believes in One God with many aspects. Krishna and Rama are just sides of God. Krishna is the beauty and Ecstasy of God while Rama is God’s perfection and ideal. Hare is the extreme pleasure of the Lord.)

Om Namah Shivaya= This mantra has many meanings including being the 5 elements and relating to the first 5 chakras.

Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha= I placed this one in the list because I have been saying it a lot recently. The mantra is an homage to Lord Ganesh (The Elephant God). He is the remover of all obstacles. When we begin to mantra, this is a great way to start so we get out of our own way.

Om Sri Ram, Jaya Ram, Jaya Jaya Ram= This is the mantra I have chanted for years. I even had it tattooed on me to remind me that this is where my center is. Simply, this mantra reminds you that God is victorious.

Eknath Easwaren, a brilliant philosopher, spiritual thinker and incredible human being, suggests that any word that resonates with you spiritually can work like Jesus, Earth, Yahweh, Love.

6. All you need to do is close your eyes and repeat the mantra for 15 to 20 minutes. The first few times may be weird and you may think that the time is up long before it really is. Time tends to dilate in meditation so what you believe is an hour is really 10 minutes.

To be clear, this is not an attempt to convert or change anyone’s belief system. Expanding your mind and becoming centered in pure thought is a practice and religion or belief system can handle.

Finding your gooey center is a path worth taking.

Namaste.

A New Attitude

Relaxation!!!

Apr 192012

Real Relationship Advice

Attitude is a judgment call. Attitude is everything. A positive attitude can make up for a lack of aptitude. Attitudes get more promotions than ability!

We like to see attitude as either a positive outlook on life or negative however, attitude is much more than that. By definition, attitude is a judgment but psychologists believe that people either base their attitudes on their judgment or their perception. While this may seem like splitting hairs to the laymen, the reality is that lots of ink and paper has been spent on the difference between these two concepts. In fact, in the Myers Brigs Personality Test, there is a whole category which labels you either a J or a P.

The difference between the two is subtle but profound. Perception is completely dependent on how we see something whereas judgment is a decision based on our perception. Perception is fed by all the things we are aware of. Our senses feed our perception of the world. Perception is affected by our physical limitation for example, if you are blind, you will undoubtedly perceive the world differently. Whereas our judgment is making decisions with everything we perceive. Our judgments have the added filter of being affected by our experiences. Our judgments are always the result of every experience we have had since the beginning of our existence. If we were abused, we will judge that our perceptions of people may be less than favorable.

Our attitudes are dependent on these two factors. Knowing whether we are a P or a J is helpful because we can choose to alter these processes. For example, understanding the limitations of what we perceive or judge as not truth but opinion will allow us to expand our minds. When we allow our minds to be open to new concepts without pre-judging or perceiving the new information as wrong, we can grow.

The topic is a little heady but really the basis of making fundamental and profound changes to your psyche. When we perceive the world as a hostile, unpredictable place, we will feel stressed. If we judge the world to be filled with evil and chaos, we will feel stressed.

Try this:

1. Go out into the world and do what you do every day.

2. Find one thing to concentrate on- it can be anything- your car, your children, your meals.

3. When you are in front of them- turn your head slightly and really look at them. What new perspective are you seeing?

4. When you are in front of them- think about this object/person without comparing it to anything else. What new judgment do you have?

Life is a weird thing and sometimes to shake things up, we need to look at it a little differently. Try standing on your head or lying on your bed with your head hanging off the side. Whatever it takes to see and feel that things are different.

Namaste!

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