Relaxation!!! » CoupleDumb

Girish

Feb 162012

Real Relationship Advice

I truly believe that there is no use in discussing relaxation if we do not get to the heart of anxiety. For me, my anxiety was based on a lack of trust. Oh, I trusted people but deep down, where no one could see, I did not trust God. The Almighty. My Spiritual Connection. My higher power. I felt he had spent a lot of time messing with my life and was not to be trusted with having highest my possibility in mind. Once I admitted my lack of trust, I searched for a way to create that trust again.

Music soothes the savage beast. For me, music has always been an escape; a place of peace and relaxation. Whether I’m singing a well-worn 70’s tune or in deep trance chanting my mantra, music is my resource when I am feeling overwhelmed. It has been 5 years since I discovered kirtan and I have been doing it ever since.

What is Kirtan?

Kirtan, or Kirtana, comes from the Sanskrit word ‘to repeat’. In the Hindu faith, Kirtan is a sung, call and response form of chanting. As we discussed last week, the mantra is something you repeat as a thinking tool. Hindus believe in the power of repeating the name of God. In Kirtan, these mantras or writings from the ancient Hindu texts are sung and repeated. In church, as a child, we learned that when you sing you pray twice.

Kirtan can be done anywhere. I do it at my desk while writing or behind the wheel driving. Some of my favorite Kirtankars (a person who performs kirtans), make it interesting by adding great beats which makes the music pleasant and inviting as well. Currently, I am really into Girish. Girish has his roots firmly in music. With his eclectic background, which is evident in each of his songs, he interweaves great music with the profound energy of mantra. I like describing some of his music as Vedic Funk! (Especially, Sita Ram from his album Shiva Machine). His latest, Girish Remixed takes his great music and ensures that you move during each one; Vedic DANCE!

What I find amazing in Girish’s music is the ease with which I am singing along. For example, for years I have tried to incorporate the Gayatri Mantra into my devotional cadre and was never able to remember it. With one listen to Girish’s ‘Gayatri’, it was cemented in my heart.

So I have told you about the great music. Have I mentioned his voice? I am a sucker for a great manly voice but it must be melodic. Girish’s voice is inviting and infused with the heart needed to be a kirtankar. He feels the words. He understands the profundity of what he is singing.

I strongly encourage you to check out his website and take a listen to some of his songs. www.GirishMusic.com

Namaste

The Gayatri Mantra is from the RigVeda and is known to impart wisdom, enlightenment and understanding. It is the most repeated mantra.

Gayatri Mantra

Om bhur bhuvah svah
tat-savitur varenyam
bhargo devasya dhimahi
dhiyo yo nah pracodayat

Gayatri Translated – Swami Shivanada

We meditate on the glory of the Creator;
Who has created the Universe;
Who is worthy of Worship;
Who is the embodiment of Knowledge and Light;
Who is the remover of all Sin and Ignorance;
May He enlighten our Intellect.

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Getting Rid Of Your Inner Nazi, Part Deux

Relaxation!!!

Feb 092012

THE Relationship Blog

The purpose of Relaxation Thursdays is to create some healthy habits to keep you calm and relaxed. One of the most insidious habits we have is negative self talk. We create a certain tape in our head that we run on an endless loop. The tape contains such oldies but goodies as, ‘It’s never going to work out’, and who can forget, ‘It’s too good to be true!’ That Inner Nazi has something to say about everything and everyone. The negativity that we generate comes from this very small space in our mind that has convinced us that the most we can hope for in life is to be content for a moment. Anything else is greedy and impossible.

Quieting your Inner Nazi?

Last week we brought up positive self talk to counter the negativity. This week we will work on two Self Talk techniques that work wonders:

1. Thought Stopping

Most of our negative thoughts are irrational. They are not based in reality however we believe them to be relevant. These thoughts are conflagrations of real life experiences filtered through our low opinions of ourselves. Why would someone like me have something so wonderful?

Thought stopping is exactly what it sounds like. Whenever these irrational or negative thoughts come into your head, say STOP! Whenever you begin to have thoughts about failing, being doomed or the worst will happen, say STOP!

This method is easy and can be done at any time with little coaching.

2. Mantra

Thought stopping is easy to do but sometimes it leaves your mind with nothing to do. You know what they say, ‘An idle mind is the Devils workshop’. True, the saying refers to hands but the mind is a lot easier to overrun with negativity than your hands.

The technique that changed my life many years ago is the repetition of a mantra. A mantra can be anything. In my case, I chose a Hindu mantra but you can choose whatever works for you. Mantra comes from the Sanskrit words ‘man’ which means ‘to think’ and ‘tra’ which means ‘tools’. This thinking tool can rewrite the negative scripts in your head if used consistently. For Hindu’s, the mantra consists of repeating the name of God. Each name of God in the Hindu faith describes a different aspect of God and not, necessarily, a completely different entity. For example, Ghandi was known for repeating Rama. In fact, he died repeating the name of God.

According to Eknath Easwaren, a great spiritual teacher and the author of several books on the subject, any name of God can be repeated as long as the emotional resonance is there. In other words, repeating the name ‘Jesus’ works great if that name resonates with you.

To create the energy that is needed to be able to use mantra as an effective relaxation technique, you need to get into the practice of repeating your mantra on a daily basis. When we pair mantra with breathing techniques then you start creating an anchor in your consciousness. Eastern faiths recommend repeating your mantra to japa, which is a spiritual discipline. Catholics may use rosary beads but it is a japa just the same. Getting into the habit of repeating your mantra will energize the words where they are anchored in your sub conscience as a source of peace.

If you try both techniques together, the results are a mind free of negativity!

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Getting Rid Of Your Inner Nazi

Relaxation!!!

Feb 022012

THE Relationship Blog

We have faith in humanity. We believe people would choose to be relaxed rather than anxious, panicked and stressed. Unfortunately, we are not trained to maintain a stress-free life. We are not trained to find the calm in the storm or make choices that would keep our lives on an even keel. These same lessons are being passed to our children and we are continuing the cycle of anxiety in our society.

This is why CoupleDumb is committed to teaching our readers that there are simple things we can do that can change how we deal with stress. Last month, we focused on breathing and taught you some simple techniques to take the edge off and relax. This month, we will focus on the one thing that makes anxiety the pathology de jour. We can control our breath but can we control what we hear? Can we stop the voices that tell us that everything is going to fall apart? That we are all going to die? That we will never succeed?

Yes!

Our worst enemy, when it comes to maintaining yourself relaxed, is that nasty little voice in your head that tells you that everything you do is wrong and good times will never last. You know, that voice in your head that is telling you right now that CoupleDumb is stupid and that you should go Google that cat video. We call that voice your ‘Inner Nazi’. Your ‘Inner Nazi’ encompasses all of your negativity, bigotry and self possessed, egotistical reason why you are the worst human being on earth. Your ‘Inner Nazi’ is committed to having you be alone so they can control you without interruption.

The origin of your Inner Nazi is usually a trauma in your youth. Someone called you a name, you were teased and someone said you were fat, lazy, stupid, slow, ugly, smelly…. We think you get what we are saying here. In other words, the words stuck. Sticks and stones could break bones but words cause permanent damage to the psyche. The thing is that we can blame the bullies in our lives for the ugly words but the words that hurt the worst are from the people we love and admire. Our Inner Nazi usually sounds like one of our parents when we are younger and then we take up the torch when we have proven the Inner Nazi right, time and again.

Getting Rid of your Inner Nazi

1. Identify the voice

Listen to your Inner Nazi, only for the purposes of identification. Your Inner Nazi may try to convince you that he/she is your conscience or intuition but you are smarter than that. Who does it sound like? Where have you heard those words before?

2. When you hear the Inner Nazi beginning their tirade, distract yourself with something.

These distractions are the key to diminishing and ultimately replacing your Inner Nazi with an internal voice that loves you and wants the best for you. Self love is the goal of any transformational work from therapy to yoga to meditation and prayer. A distraction is a healthy activity that makes you feel good.

3. Flip the script

When the Inner Nazi speaks, say the opposite to yourself. Practice this along with one of the breathing techniques from last month. Breathe in positivity and exhale all negativity and conversations of doom.

Next week we will talk about prayer and chanting as a source of introducing permanent positivity into your consciousness. Until then, keep breathing!

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