THE Relationship Blog
We have faith in humanity. We believe people would choose to be relaxed rather than anxious, panicked and stressed. Unfortunately, we are not trained to maintain a stress-free life. We are not trained to find the calm in the storm or make choices that would keep our lives on an even keel. These same lessons are being passed to our children and we are continuing the cycle of anxiety in our society.
This is why CoupleDumb is committed to teaching our readers that there are simple things we can do that can change how we deal with stress. Last month, we focused on breathing and taught you some simple techniques to take the edge off and relax. This month, we will focus on the one thing that makes anxiety the pathology de jour. We can control our breath but can we control what we hear? Can we stop the voices that tell us that everything is going to fall apart? That we are all going to die? That we will never succeed?
Yes!
Our worst enemy, when it comes to maintaining yourself relaxed, is that nasty little voice in your head that tells you that everything you do is wrong and good times will never last. You know, that voice in your head that is telling you right now that CoupleDumb is stupid and that you should go Google that cat video. We call that voice your ‘Inner Nazi’. Your ‘Inner Nazi’ encompasses all of your negativity, bigotry and self possessed, egotistical reason why you are the worst human being on earth. Your ‘Inner Nazi’ is committed to having you be alone so they can control you without interruption.
The origin of your Inner Nazi is usually a trauma in your youth. Someone called you a name, you were teased and someone said you were fat, lazy, stupid, slow, ugly, smelly…. We think you get what we are saying here. In other words, the words stuck. Sticks and stones could break bones but words cause permanent damage to the psyche. The thing is that we can blame the bullies in our lives for the ugly words but the words that hurt the worst are from the people we love and admire. Our Inner Nazi usually sounds like one of our parents when we are younger and then we take up the torch when we have proven the Inner Nazi right, time and again.
Getting Rid of your Inner Nazi
1. Identify the voice
Listen to your Inner Nazi, only for the purposes of identification. Your Inner Nazi may try to convince you that he/she is your conscience or intuition but you are smarter than that. Who does it sound like? Where have you heard those words before?
2. When you hear the Inner Nazi beginning their tirade, distract yourself with something.
These distractions are the key to diminishing and ultimately replacing your Inner Nazi with an internal voice that loves you and wants the best for you. Self love is the goal of any transformational work from therapy to yoga to meditation and prayer. A distraction is a healthy activity that makes you feel good.
3. Flip the script
When the Inner Nazi speaks, say the opposite to yourself. Practice this along with one of the breathing techniques from last month. Breathe in positivity and exhale all negativity and conversations of doom.
Next week we will talk about prayer and chanting as a source of introducing permanent positivity into your consciousness. Until then, keep breathing!
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