Real Relationship Advice
Untethered by the bounds of propriety and fact rather than judgment, CoupleDumb is giving our real opinion about why people divorce. We would like to reiterate just for edification that we do not believe in marriage, we believe in happy relationships. If that is within the context of marriage, yippee! If you aren’t happy and haven’t committed any heinous stupidity to ruin your relationship then by all means, divorce, break up, sever all ties, delete their phone number and change your Facebook status. That being said, today we give our humble opinion another one of the top reasons people divorce, loss of affection.
Let me start out with, what the fuck does that even mean? Where did you lose it? Was there any brain trauma involved where all of a sudden you became an automaton and you couldn’t show emotion or affection? Loss of affection is as stupid an excuse as the dog ate my homework. There is no responsibility in it. You just lost it like misplacing your keys or something. When you look at reasons for divorce this has to be the most adolescent.
Loss of affection is the polite way of saying, ‘we didn’t fuck anymore’. Now, correct me if I’m wrong but barring some flagrant violation of boundaries or rape, it takes too to lambada. If one of you is completely unwilling to have sex with your partner then where is the intervention? Where do you fight for your marriage and say, ‘hey, I should get some help!’ But no! Most of these people see the idea of seeing a counseling professional as an anathema to their existence. ‘Why would I need help to understand what I’m not doing for a reason that I am not aware of?’
When we get married we are at a certain level of development working under certain beliefs about the world, love and the way things work. As we get older and hopefully mature, we change. We see things differently, black and white change to shades of grey, we become harried with the stressors of life and we take things for granted. Whether we like it or not we have changed. You might look into the mirror and get scared to see some old person looking back at you when you were expecting a 24 year old babe. But you aren’t. You changed.
So, to think that you can go through so much change without even a hint of help dealing with the loss and gains of development is ridiculous. Couples lose affection because they change and never bother to talk about it. Couples lose affection because they are so terrified that their partner may notice that they aren’t the same person that they withdraw and isolate themselves within their relationship. Couples lose affection because they lose sight of what is important in life and take their partner for granted. Couples lose affection because they stop giving it.
For some, it is so easy to just wither away instead of fighting for their love. I call these people idiots. These same people will complain that their marriage failed because they lost that loving feeling. You didn’t lose it you idiot, you just stopped trying. How incredibly pathetic is that? The loss of affection in marriage is akin to losing your dog after you left the door open and let them walk out without a collar.
Fight for what you want. Fight for your love. And if you don’t want to acknowledge change at least nut-up and admit that you fucked up.