Real Relationship Advice
We just cannot separate love and sex. We have tried. We’ve written about the fact that lust is not love and how sex is not intimacy. Yet love and sex go hand in hand or something in hand. We will not specify what is in sex’s hand. Knowing that we are not separating the two, here is the last of our love myths.
I’ll only put in the tip.
Let’s look at the sex side of this first. Anyone with any life experience simply rolls their eyes and gives a lascivious laugh when hearing this particular lie. Admittedly we are not certain which front to attack first. Should we point out that the tip should be in the range of 10% of the total? Therefore putting in eight inches means that your penis is six and two thirds feet long. (You wish that that was true.)
How about if we just point out that this is a lie and everyone involved knows that it is a lie. The boy knows that he does not have the self-control to dabble in sex and the girl knows that ultimately she doesn’t care. Sex as a means to advance a relationship is a tried and true method. And it feels good.
So why pretend? The answer is because sex can advance the relationship. This is the part where we go from some stupid saying about sex to the harsh reality that, like having sex, you cannot partially be in love. Relationships require more than the tip. Intimacy takes 100% immersion. Vulnerability is an all or nothing way of being. Yet being in love is scary. This idea of giving yourself over to a person one hundred percent is terrifying. Instead we lie to ourselves and delude ourselves into believing we are only going to put in the tip when we all know, deep down inside, that we are in it up to the balls.
Which brings us to another question; why would anyone only want the tip? Whether we are talking about sex or love, they are both amazing and wonderful. We know that we want it all. We want the whole tantric ‘breathing in each other’s soul’s’ kind of love. If you are willing to accept the tip, we urge you to examine this. If you are with a married lover (one that is not married to you) why are you ok with this? If you are with a commitment-phobe, why? Robert Heinlein said to take life in big bites, moderation is for monks. He wasn’t talking about eating bacon. If anything deserves big bites, it is love.
Here is the bottom line; you might be being fucked or you might be making love. You will probably not know which it is for a while so, in the meantime, enjoy it 100%, shaft and all.