THE Relationship Blog
People say the silliest things when they are justifying, rationalizing and being defensive about their relationships. We believe if we say something kind of romantic or nice that our behaviors are completely overlooked. These stupid things we say take on their own life, though. They become almost the foundation to the delusion that we are calling relationships. In other words, we say something stupid and it concretizes the flimsy excuse of our relationship. This week CoupleDumb will attack explore a few of these silly sayings and tell you why anyone who says them is just plain stupid.
The heart wants what it wants.
This quote is credited to Emily Dickenson. Yeah, I want to base my understanding of love on the ramblings of a recluse. Yeah, Emily can write pretty poetry but I think I would take issue if people used her as a role model for love.
The heart wants what it wants ….really? The heart is a muscle nestled in your chest that has one function, pumping. Methinks you are listening to another organ. The metaphorical heart where we believe that love resides is a place of emotion. Emotions are incredibly important but emotion without thought will eventually lead to irrational behavior. Does that sound familiar? The world says, ‘Love is irrational’, ‘Love is uncontrollable’, ‘Love stinks’, ‘Love is a battlefield’. The reality is that the love they are referring to is lust. Most people who are lead by their ‘heart’ are really listening to their libido.
Real love can be impetuous but not to the extent that you are blinded to reality.
Love gets a bad rap. Love is not why we get hurt. We get hurt because the object of our affection is insecure, mean, jealous, terrified of loss … This is not love’s fault. This is where the brain comes into play. The brain sees the limitations, the obstacles, the problems. The lust makes us blind. The heart wants what it wants is similar to saying that my stomach wants a box of chocolates. It is the brain that reminds you that a box of chocolate is tasty but will probably give you diarrhea and not to mention a cavity, cankles and fat ass.
Love is not like a zombie’s drive for brains. Love is an emotion. We love our family, our dog, friends, that cute red sweater but that doesn’t make you want to fuck them, right? The heart wants what it wants is a cop out; a stop sign in the conversation. How can you argue with love and my heart?
CoupleDumb stresses that only responsible love is healthy. If you can’t take responsibility for what you do in a relationship it will not be a healthy relationship nor will it bring you long lasting happiness. To think otherwise is to live in a fantasy. Don’t get us wrong, a little fantasy in love is good but it cannot be the basis of a relationship.
So, next time someone says that the heart wants what it wants, tell them good luck and move on. You would have better luck teaching a baby logarithms.