2009 December » CoupleDumb

Happy New Year from CoupleDumb

Dec 292009

We toast with all of you. To a Wonderful New Year.

          As we say goodbye to 2009 and get ready for 2010, CoupleDumb takes a look at the year that kicked ass! We started our humble blog on January 19, 2009. Prior to this, our experience with blog writing was nil. In fact, we only became acquainted with blogs the month before. We are writers who happen to blog now. Lee has written a couple of novels and is working on her third while Paul has one novel under his belt and is easily one of the best writers out there. The blog was a way to establish a writing platform. We never expected the response we received nor did we expect that we would love writing about relationships. So consider this the ‘best of’ and shit you should have learned over the past year. It’s like the review before the final. Oh, we will be asking those hard questions and Paul will bring up random trivia like why do they name cows ‘Bossy’?

          Most hit post: Product Review: ‘Would you like some KY Jelly with that?’ January 22, 2009

          This is the post where Lee introduced ‘Minty Muff’ to the English speaking lexicon. Since the post, we think KY has added Minty Muff to their commercials (we kid, but it probably would be a good idea since women really don’t need to be surprised with that peppermint patty feeling down there). We hope we have sent many a couple to try out this product. It is a safe and fun way to explore sexuality for a couple. We would especially recommend this product to couples with kids because it adds an extra zing to your sex. It’s like pretending your having a nice meal when you use the expensive dishes. It’s the same old food but dressed up fancy!

          Most past around blog like a drunken whore: ‘My M.O.M. Logic’- posted on April 21, 2009

          Just a mere few months after we started the blog, Lee was one of the top 10 finalists for MomLogics Mother of All Bloggers contest. This is the piece she wrote to answer the age old question ‘What is your Mom Logic?’ If they asked her today, she would probably add that always carrying a fully loaded Nerf N-Strike Maverick Blaster that you’re not afraid to use would add to the mystery and terror. She didn’t win it probably because she was new to the game and had a small fan base. Also, she was unwilling to hire a consulting firm from India to sit there for a week and click on a button. She’s not bitter. Really. It is true that she has never entered a contest since and probably won’t ever again but that doesn’t mean anything. It was nice just to be a finalist.

          Our Cool Philosophy: ‘It’s not sex. It’s a merger.’- posted January 29, 2009

          Marriage as a Corporation ™ is the most intelligent concept ever introduced into the relationship field since Freud talked about bananas. Not since Adler’s ricket ridden body came up with inferiority complexes has any psychological professional posited such dazzling genius. How much do you think you would pay for such brilliance? Would you pay a million dollars for it? How about half a million? What if we said you could have our brilliance for free everyday by just reading our blog? Wouldn’t that be the coolest thing? There are so many more posts that we really encourage you to read all of them to even get a smidge of our smartitude.

          So where are we going in 2010? First, we don’t believe in resolutions (check out Monday, January 11^th,2010). What we will do right now is create an intention for the next year and focus our energies at knowing it’s a done deal and doing everything possible to stay in the space where we can make and let it happen. We know that sounds all fluffy but bear with us. Consider this a social experiment; proof that you create your life.

          Our 2010 intentions:

           1. We and our loved ones will be healthy throughout the year.

          2. CoupleDumb will have a mainstream TV or nationally syndicated radio show in 2010.

          3. CoupleDumb will get an agent and publish our relationship book.

          4. Our relationship book will be on the New York Times Bestsellers list (think big people! Little intentions. Little life.)

          5. We will be traveling a lot this year (on someone else’s dime) for work.

          6. Our daughter will get into her first choice of college with a good scholarship.

          7. Paul and I will grow as authors, partners and sex minions.

          So now the universe knows what our intentions are and we are open to acepting all the wonderful gifts that God is sending our way. We thank you for all your support this year and invite you to continue the journey with us in 2010. We wish you and your families a Happy, Healthy, Loving, Prosperous, Joyful and Amazing New Year! God bless and catch you on Monday, January 4, 2010 for our new year of posts!

Calling All Angels

Monday, Heavy Monday

Dec 232009

This is not angel porn, you perv!

          Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwaanza and the Best Yule Tme everyone! Happy Holidays for those a little leary of acknowledging the religious overtones to those words. We understand. We were raised to believe that this time of year we celebrated and welcomed our savior into the world; the only son of the Father being born in a manger. In fact, in 1969, Lee was at a hardware store with her parents and found the most incredible manger. It cost $9.99! It might as well have been a million but her parents bought it. 40 years later, that same manger is under our tree. Does it define everything or merely confuse the purpose of the season?

          Lee says: Christmas is here. There is no stopping it. While people debate the name of this time of year and complain about commercialism, we can’t help but think that these are all excuses to convilute the true meaning for all humanity. Whether you believe in a Judeo-Christian construct of God or are open to a higher power in the universe, there are forces in and around us that are not easily explained.

          This is the time of year where we seek the sign of compassion and celestial intervention. We seek to find a glimmer of the hope we talk about all year. We have created all these celebrations which honor the miraculous and call on the good of man to keep these feelings going. In Chanukah we marvel at how the oil lasted for 8 days and Kwaanza celebrates the abundance of life. In Christmas we celebrate the hope of man through Jesus Christ who ultimately gave us a get out of jail free card; the ultimate gift. So where is our miracles and salvation today? Does it come in a wrapped gift with a pretty bow?

          This is where Ghandi comes in and we must be the light we want to see in the world. I do believe in angels but I trust in the beauty of man and that we are giving and loving. I encourage each one of you to be someone’s Santa, angel or loving intervention. I have faith that people will take up the call and be the sign that a person needs to keep going, to regain their hope in a world that has been turning towards fear and hate. Hope, redemption, salvation are not words exclusive to religion. Everyone needs them. Be the person who gives this gift to someone this year and don’t worry how you wrap it.

          Paul says: When Lee suggested we make ‘Calling all Angels’ the theme of this post, I did what I always do and started to research angels. The funny thing about angels is that, on one hand, they don’t do much and, on the other, they change the world. In Biblical history, the only thing that the angels did was talk. And you know that Lee and I are all about the communication.

          As much as I love the idea of donning a jerkin and carrying a sword (I pause now for some dirty sexy role-playing thoughts before returning to writing about angels) being angel-like means saying words of hope, safety and inspiration. That’s what angels do. Now we know that there are hoards of them and that they can kick ass in Archangel Michael-like glory but really the only thing that is written is that they swing by and deliver a message that something good will be happening, we’re up to the challenge and that God loves us. Then they point, wink, say ‘Ciao’ and disappear.

          We can do that. Maybe not the disappearing part, but the rest is pretty easy. How different would our world be if each of us let one person know that they were safe, loved and generally awesome? I am not talking about picking up some Dickens street urchin and trying to change their life (though you can go for it if you are up to the challenge) but try building up that mom that is full of worry that there just isn’t enough money, time or ‘her-ness’ to go around. Or the dad that stays silent because he doesn’t want to hurt his kids like he was hurt.

          You get the idea. There are people out there that can use an ‘it’s all good’, followed by a point, wink and ‘Ciao’ to make their day a little bit better. You can do that.

WTF of the Week: Evil Tweeters

WTF of the Week

Dec 192009

Not sexy!

          Social Media Moms have been quite busy this year. Building empires and creating a new language that is actually having the government take note of us. Also, there has been some serious in-fighting which, quite frankly, has me baffled. Instead of supporting one another, we clique up like some All Girl High School where cattiness and bitchiness are required courses. I, for one, am not playing this game. I went to Catholic school, bitches. I cut my teeth on perky cheerleaders who promised their virginity to God and gave it up during Homecoming. You don’t scare me.

          Earlier this week, tragedy struck Twitterville. On Tuesday we learned of the horrible death of @Military_Mom 2 year old son. The mother, who I can only assume was devastated, asked her twitter friends to pray for her son. Immediately, there were calls for support and within seconds, there were thousands praying and within hours, a fund was created to support Shellie Ross and her family. But just as quickly as the community came together, some women thought that their opinion, judgments and random bullshit was pertinent during this time of grief.

          This WTF is directed towards the evil bitches who chose to send @Military_Mom words of hate and cruelty. This WTF is dedicated to the sub-human soulless cows who felt the need to violate a mother during her worst nightmare. What I need to know is this, how does it feel to be devoid of even basic human emotions? How does it feel to be self-righteous vultures who swoop in during the darkest moments? All I know is that if ever any of you whores spout your crap at me or any of my loved ones, I will hunt you down, find you and dispose of you where even dental records will not be able to identify the bodies. Oh, and let’s not forget the New York Times. The Old Grey Lady decided these ogres were right and took the time to print a slanderous piece on @Military_Mom. Wow, that’s some great non biased reporting. Where are you getting your leads these days? Fox News? Personally, I think it’s time for the Old Grey Lady to be euthanized.

          So here is where I get to rant a little since I am writing this at 2:24am on my birthday! What the Fuck, Ladies? I have only been in the game less than a year and have very few relationships in this Social Media world. I see myself hanging out on the sidelines while all of you dance. A lot of you have met at conferences and created deep bonds and I will admit that that makes me slightly envious. But in these months I have seen some really nasty shit and all I have to say is stop it! From the Dooce drama to those who, for whatever personal reason, could not find something nice to say to Anissa Mayhew or the chick with the TSA crap and now Military Mom, this needs to stop. All I ask is that we be human to each other.

          I’m not saying to kiss everybody’s ass and pretend that we love each other. What I am saying is that some of you are creating these feelings about women you don’t know, have never met and probably never will and fighting it out for all of us to watch. I think it’s pathetic that you would allow any of this twitter or bloggy shit to upset you. Frankly, I don’t give a shit. However, if a human being calls for prayers or is ill or suffers a tragedy on the order of the things that have happened this year, if you don’t have nothing nice to say then shut the fuck up! Empathy is not difficult if you stop being petty.

          So please support Military Mom. Go to this site and do what you can . My birthday wish is that you all be nice to one another. Santa is watching!