Posted By Lee and Paul on September 3, 2010

          Adversity is something everyone experiences. Currently, our entire country is feeling some sort of adversity. Everyone either knows of someone, or are themselves, in financial difficulties. Like some sort of Snidely Whiplash, the economy is robbing us of everything including our homes. People are edgy, nasty and cannot see beyond their own need. We are like lions on a carcass growling at anyone who may appear on the horizon. We are no longer friendly because being nice is weakness and right now the only thing that is taught on the streets is ‘The Eye of the Tiger’.

          The most blamed person for all of this is our President, Barack Obama. Through all of this adversity, he has approached the problems with aplomb and diplomacy. People have accused him of everything from socialism to being a Nazi (I will give you a massage if you can explain that one to me) to being too bipartisan to being too…you know….that tyranny of the government thingy. Meanwhile, he stays cool and we wait for him to get fed up and say enough is enough.

          What drives me nuts about this is that we forget what a mess he inherited. He is being blamed for his predecessor’s war, financial mismanagement and general disregard for what the constituents wanted. Dick Cheney said it himself that when he was told that 61% of the country did not like the Iraq War he said, ‘So what?!’ The truth is that Obama became president when we should have been playing a game of Not It! Who would want such a job?

          As this is CoupleDumb and we do discuss relationships, we must look at Obama‘s relationship to this nation. Right now, as a nation, we are scapegoating our president. This is easy for us as a public. As I mentioned on Monday, we blame people when the shit hits the fan. He is the nation’s whipping boy (and before you get your panties in a bunch look it up). Anything he does or says is dissected and analyzed for any type of angle. People are hell bent on painting our President as a liar, thief, idiot and anything else that could possibly inspire more fear.

          You see, when we face adversity we don’t really try to get out of the feeling of anxiety or desperation. What we tend to do is create elaborate methods of dissipating are tension without really addressing the issue. We tend to pull out our defense mechanisms and work them to death. Americans have projected all their fears on Obama and are in complete denial of why they cannot trust him. They will say it is his politics but cannot spell out which policy they distrust. They say it is his promises and cannot name which promise was broken. They say it is his character or his values or his morals or his use of his family or his lack of family focus. I say it is his color.

          Adversity has some pretty scary side-effects. Adversity separates the men from the boys and the mature from the bigoted. It s time to take some responsibility for the mess our country is in and work at problem solving instead of blaming. As long as Obama is the focus of our problems, we will never fix our situation. As long as we are oblivious to our defense mechanisms and play the game of stealth racism then we will continue to struggle. What we are doing is blaming him as if I would blame Ronald if our Big Mac was not up to snuff. This is a systemic issue. Something that had a point of beginning but we require a complete mind and policy change if we are ever to see what truly happened.

          There is so much to say about this. As a nation, we are handling our adversity like a good bipolar patient. One side spreads fear and the other shits rainbows. We need to return to the middle and see the reality. Perhaps then we can begin to change and fix what is broken.

Posted By Lee and Paul on September 2, 2010

Breyers Sundae Scoop-Off Contest

Breyers® is in search of the next great sundae with the Sundae Scoop-Off Contest and you have a chance to win!  From now through September 13, 2010, the Sundae Scoop-Off Contest is challenging America to create original, family-friendly ice cream sundae recipes including 10 or fewer ingredients. View complete contest requirements and enter the recipes at www.breyers.com <http://www.breyers.com> for a chance to win $10,000, a trip to Chicago featuring a private cooking lesson with renowned pasty Chef Gale Gand and one year of FREE Breyers® ice cream. The sundae recipe entries will be judged on taste, creativity, use of Breyers® ice cream and presentation.

No monetary compensation was given for this post but we might win some cool Breyer’s stuff!

Posted By Lee and Paul on September 2, 2010

          The economy is in the toilet, the moral compass of the nations is spinning like a gyroscope, Lindsay Lohan is normal for Hollywood, the sky is falling, the sky is falling. What are we to do?

          Paul says: In the morning, I put on Krishna Das chanting as I drive the boys to school. I do not do this for them. This is for me. It helps me to focus my day and it drowns out the morning prattle of the boys. I have a very low threshold for conversations that have the words ‘and then’ multiple times in one sentence, especially if it happens before my second cup of coffee. Happily, they seem to enjoy the time also. As a matter of fact, the 3 year old likes it so much that he has a specific chant that he likes after which he requests ‘We will rock you’ by Queen. What a bad ass, rocking way to start your day!

           When we talk about adversity, we are really talking dealing with it, not reveling in it. We want to take on adversity like Neo in the Matrix takes on bullets; a bend here, a twist there, and let them go by without so much as a scratch. The only way to combat adversity is to have the resources to do so. By resources, I am not talking about having cash-on-hand to deal with the situation because, as we all know, if you have the money to pay for the problem to go away then it really isn’t much of an adversity.

          A resource in this context is a psychological resource, an insightful and positive attitude. Common resources are trust in God so that you know He will get you through it, some old-fashioned arrogance to know that life is your bitch, and a good meditative state where you can run away without actually needing to move your feet. When my little boy walks into his classroom in the morning knowing that he will rock them, what he is really doing is calling on his internal resources to combat the potential fear of the classroom.

          Throughout our lifetimes, we create ways of coping with adversity, some healthy ways and some not. When we do not have the strong, healthy resources in place to help us move through the difficult times, this is when we resort to things like drinking, drugs, sex, food and the lot that sooth us in much the same way that meditation, prayer or exercise can. But I usually don’t stagger out of the gym, strip off my clothes and pass out in the Hostess aisle of 7-11.

          The best time to develop healthy resources to buoy you against adversity is when you are not in crisis. When the great monkey of life is throwing poop balls in our direction, the best we can hope for is quick reflexes and a raincoat. None of us has time to reflect of our behaviors and reactions while diving for cover. 

          So when everything is good, sit down and look around your life. Catalogue the things, not the material ones but the emotional ones, that you can depend on to bring you hope. For me it is my loving wife that makes me laugh, my family that has pesky but cute down pat, a good morning chant, and some rocking Queen.

          Lee says: Not that there is anything wrong with fucking and eating sandwich, it is only unhealthy if that is what you did every time you were in crisis. Any other time, A-OK!